Sin Vergüenza: Finding a Home in the Tensions of IdentitySample

Day 3: Be Okay with Who You’re Not

As children, our parents probably gave most of us the same encouragement when they wanted to inspire us. This encouragement usually sounds something like, “You can do anything you put your mind to.” This advice is especially true for those of us realizing opportunities like college graduation that were inaccessible to prior generations in our families. 

We’ve all heard some version of that advice, but if we’re honest, that sentiment can create a burden that’s too heavy to bear. For example, we may encounter projects on the job that try as hard as we may, we cannot save them from being ill received by key teammates or clients. Or, we may find ourselves struggling with angst to shield our loved ones from the pain of job insecurity, or loss during a national crisis. 

Met with these pressures we often internalize the need to be the hero of our lives and the lives of others. Many times, we respond to the pressure through busyness and the need to prove ourselves worthy of redeeming the day. Whether real or imagined, we hear the voices of those around us championing performance-based virtues. At times, our friends and mentors tell us “you can do it,” when “You are loved even if you don’t” is what we need to hear. Or, our friends might tell us “You’re so strong,” when we’re holding weights we can’t bear.  If no one is around encouraging performance, we may feel the need to rise above our station and join the “in-group” of the season. 

All of this is taxing work. But like John the Baptist at the appearance of Jesus, we can embrace our limitations as an opportunity to point to the true savior of the World, Jesus Christ! Scripture reveals many instances in which the people of God realize the more they can’t do, the more room there is for God to do! 

Reflect on the story of John the Baptist and notice the way his testimony left room for the appearance of Jesus. By embracing who we are not (fully capable, able to please everyone, and powerful enough to best all of life’s challenges) we can trade lives obsessed with accomplishment and power for lives of acceptance and gratitude. Like John the Baptist we can see joy instead of disappointment when we’re rejected. We can find peace instead of anxiety when things don’t go our way.

Reflection: 

• Take a second to reflect on your closest relationships. Is there anyone you are currently afraid of disappointing?
• When you think of living a life of faith, do you see it as a performance to maintain, or heavy burden?
• Take a second to think about the struggles in your life, do you see Jesus as a means to being a more impressive person? If so, imagine shifting Jesus from being an accessory to your source of life who will reveal your truth as one who is made righteous by his effort and not your own..