The Longing in Me: A Study on the Life of DavidSample

Longing for Control

Control is a big issue for women. Sometimes it is birthed in a healthy place. We want to fashion our homes into peaceful places. We want to protect our children. If we’re married, we want our husbands to succeed and feel fulfilled. We want our families and friends to love and serve God. These are all good things. But at times, our attempts to control fail or are misplaced.

When those around us don’t cooperate with our efforts, we can respond in a few ways. We can spiritualize the situation and say the reason we are upset is because we don’t believe this is what the Lord wants. Or we can punish the person and say, “Well, that’s fine if that’s what you want to do, but I won’t be a part of it!” Or, worst of all, we can withdraw. We don’t yell and scream at that person. We just choose to not talk to them at all.

Actually, there is another choice. We can give up our attempts at control, let the person make their mistakes, and see what God will do.

In the Bible we see that David’s world changed the day he killed Goliath. He could not control his situation, and he wasn’t allowed to return to the life he knew. When King Saul saw the way the people loved David, he plotted to get rid of the threat by killing him. At this point, even though David knew he was the Lord’s chosen one, he did not retaliate. He didn’t try to sway others to his side. Instead, he left.

Unfortunately, at other times David did make bad choices when faced with an out-of-control situation. Instead of waiting on God for the next step, he came up with one himself. The consequences of not trusting God put David’s life—and the lives of those around him—in jeopardy. When David made these bad decisions, he couldn’t undo the damage he’d done. All he could do was live differently, and wiser.

It’s the same for us. When we’ve grabbed control of a situation that we should have left alone, or left something undone we should have done, we can’t go back. But by God’s grace we can move forward.

You may be in a devastating place today. It might be a word or an action that you can’t take back. It might be how your child is living right now and you have no control over that child’s behavior. It might be a marriage that is broken because of something you said, and you have no control over whether your spouse will forgive you. What do you do?

By God’s grace, you wait patiently for God’s guidance and work to redeem the situation. You give your heartache and pain to God and trust him with the outcome.

Can you do that? Can you bring what feels so out of control to God, knowing he is good and he loves you, and trust him with the timing? Can you bring the thing you long to fix to God, give it to him, and trust him with the outcome? Can you do this with thanksgiving? If you can—if you can worship instead of worry—you will find the peace of Christ will flood your heart and mind.

Respond

Which of these three things is hardest for you to believe when you have to wait for God: that God is good, that he loves you, or that you can trust his timing?

Who recently has been on the receiving end of your controlling thoughts and behaviors? Where do you need to submit control to God?

How can God help you experience the freedom of letting go and trusting him with what matters most to you? How can you redeem the time while you are waiting for God to move in this situation?