Understanding Sexual Temptation Sample

DAY 2: You need intimate connection.

Sarah had recently become a Christian. Over lunch, she honestly shared with me about her battle to stop having casual sex. “There is this guy I met at work. We barely know each other, but I am attracted to him. We started flirting and the next thing I knew, I found myself in bed with him. How do I stop wanting to have sex with random guys like this?” 

I asked Sarah, “Did you feel better after you had sex with him?” She honestly answered, “No.” Then I asked her to reflect on what she got out of the encounter. Was there any moment during which it was satisfying? “I just wanted to be held and touched. It felt great in the moment to connect to someone even so briefly. And then I felt disgusting and rejected afterward.” 

We live in a world where it’s easy to feel isolated… especially as a single person. You weren’t created to live in a small apartment all by yourself, working sixty hours a week and being entertained by a screen during your free time. You were made for intimacy. Whether or not you are married or have children, you need touch, you need to share life with people, and you need to be known. 

While our pace of life often sabbatoges intimacy, it offers sex as a cheap replacement. Sarah didn’t hook up for sex. She used sex so she could experience a fleeting moment of connection and affirmation. 

Clues that this might be underlying your sexual desire: Is temptation the greatest when you are feeling lonely? As you evaluate your relationships, how many would you describe as intimate connections? 

Address this need by: pursuing authentic friendships, connecting with a local church and getting involved, and developing an intimate relationship with the Lord.