Navigating Conflict (And Why It Can Be A Good Thing)Sample

Focus on the Real Issue

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a surface- level conflict. I suppose part of it has to do with my very logical and sometimes black-and-white personality. I see the action that upset me instead of the core issue that is propelling the action.

For instance, suppose someone didn’t return your text or call and it really bothered you. But maybe the week prior you cut down the other person or blew them off. Though the lack of response upsets you, there is an even deeper issue of a past hurt on the other person’s side. What they did isn’t necessarily right, but it helps to understand the bigger picture and core issue in order to properly address conflict.

If you are in conflict with someone, or even in a heated fight out of “nowhere,” look for the foundation of the argument. Get to the root cause. By addressing what’s at the core of the disagreement, you can come to a proper resolution.

However, if you fail to go deep and into the nitty gritty, and only address the surface action that upset one of you, you end up bypassing true resolution. You only put a temporary band-aid on the conflict instead of truly taking care of the hurt.

We look to James 5 for this guidance because dealing with the core issue of the conflict may be sin. Confess it, even if it’s hard, and go to prayer. Transparency and vulnerability in conflict will open up doors to resolution in powerful ways and bring about the work God wants to do in your relationship.