Jesus the Small Group LeaderSample

Ask Questions

When Jesus asked questions, he got right to the heart of the issue. And here’s something interesting about Jesus—he loved asking questions.

In fact, in the gospels Jesus asks 307 questions. Compare that to the 183 questions people ask him (of which he only directly answers 3), and we can see that Jesus led conversations by asking questions. Jesus knew that the key to connection is found in asking questions. 

But as we see in this passage, he doesn’t just stop at asking one question. He asks the second question and opens up the door for truth and vulnerability. What would this look like in our lives?

“How’s that project at work?” “Did you end up calling your mom last week?” or even, “How are you doing?” are all great first questions. However, the real power is in the second question, the one that leans into how they answer the first. 

A good second question is penetrating and draws out a more thoughtful or emotional response. For example, you might ask a friend, “How are your kids doing with the move?” They might reply, “They’re doing okay.” Our tendency is to move on to the next topic, but the power is when we stop, listen, and then ask the second question. This might look like, “What’s been the hardest part?” or “Who seems to be struggling the most?” 

The art of asking good follow-up questions is a skill every single one of us can grow in, and since conversations are the primary vehicle for relational connection, honing this skill will pay dividends. If you’re trying to get to know someone or connect on a more authentic level, then ask the second question.