Fighting For My MarriageSample

The Secret of Lifelong Love

Harold and Louise are an extraordinary couple. We had the privilege of meeting them at a recent marriage conference we were hosting, and we were instantly drawn to them. There was a sparkle in their eyes and an adoration they obviously had for one another. They couldn’t help themselves from smiling every time their eyes met. Even though they were both in their seventies, they acted like two teenagers in love.

We spent as much time around them as we could that weekend, because we wanted to learn the “secret” of their lifelong love. We wanted to know how their love had grown richer with time, and how even through painful setbacks in Louise’s health, they both remained joyful, optimistic, and passionately devoted to one another.

Louise shared a story with us which gave us a glimpse into their lifelong love. She said, “Our first date was on March 17, so on April 17, Harold brought me a long stem rose to celebrate our one month anniversary. I was genuinely impressed by his thoughtfulness, but I didn’t expect the roses to come very often. I was so surprised when he brought me another rose on May 17 to celebrate our second month together. I smiled and thought, ‘Wow! This fella is a keeper!’

She looked at Harold with a smile and continued her story. “After we got married, I expected the roses to stop, but on the 17th that first month of our marriage, another rose appeared.”

She paused to squeeze Harold’s hand, and tears began to form in her eyes as she smiled and said, “It has been fifty-four years since our first date, and every month on the seventeenth for 648 months in a row, Harold has brought me a rose.”

As she finished her story, I (Dave) was simultaneously inspired by their love story and at the same time feeling like an insensitive jerk for never having done anything for Ashley that could match that level of consistent thoughtfulness. Harold definitely challenged me to raise the bar in my own marriage! I obviously can’t build a time machine and go back to the beginning and start that type of tradition, but I can (and you can too) start today to bring more thoughtfulness and romance to the marriage.

Harold and Louise would be quick to tell you it takes a lot more than roses to build a strong, lifelong marriage. The flowers weren’t really the point of their story; it was the thoughtfulness behind the flowers. As I spend time with couples who have faithfully loved each other for decades, I’m convinced their “secret” is really no secret at all. It’s a simple choice to put love into action by consistently serving, encouraging, supporting and adoring one another.

As we wrap up this seven-day journey, we encourage you to think about one or two new habits you’d like to implement into your marriage and one or two negative habits you’ll take action to remove from your marriage. Your habits will shape your marriage, so make sure you’re creating the right habits together. For additional resources to help you build a rock-solid relationship, please connect with us at www.FightingForMyMarriage.com.