Permanent Markers: A Hands-on Family Devotional of Spiritual Life SkillsSample

Self Control: The Power of What We Don’t Do

Play:

Put a small treat (like a marshmallow) in front of each family member. They have two choices: If they eat it now, they can only have one. If they can wait 15 minutes, they can have two.

Set a timer and follow through.

You’ll also need a full glass of a beverage (doesn’t really matter what kind!) on a plate.

Talk It Out:

Today’s activity is similar to a science experiment performed in 1972.* (Who knew science could taste this good?)

As scientists followed the kids in the experiment through their lives, they found the kids who could wait for the second marshmallow tended toward better test scores, higher success in school, and healthy body weight.

How do you think being able to wait for a marshmallow meant kids were likely to have other life successes?

These kids were able to wait for what they wanted. They were self-controlled!

Each of us has different temptations that are either easy for us to avoid or hard to avoid. Maybe you’re not a fan of marshmallows—but it’s hard not to snap at your parent when you’re interrupted in a video game. Think about one area of your life where it’s hard for you to have self-control.

A big part of self-control is being able to listen to the Holy Spirit’s voice inside us before, say, we try to get revenge on someone or take the seat they wanted in the car. Self-control is one of the signs the Holy Spirit is changing us inside (Galatians 5:22-23).

See, Matthew 12:34 says, “The mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” So look at this cup.

What’s in it? What will come out of the cup? If you bump the cup, can vinegar come out?

When life bumps us around and we’re stressed, what comes out of our mouths (point to the mouth of the cup) comes from our hearts—the sweet (or not-so-sweet) place where self-control starts.

This week, in one of those tempting times, first realize you’re being tempted. Then tune in to the Holy Spirit inside, asking Him for self-control.

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*Water Mischel, Ebbe B. Ebbesen, and Antonette Raskoff Zeiss, “Cognitive and Attentional

Mechanisms in Delay of Gratification,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 21, no. 2 (1972): 204-18, doi: 10.1037/h0032198.