Do you speak their language? 

Have you ever read the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman? It really is an insightful book. It’s helped so many couples and parents understand that everyone has a way of giving and receiving love. 

The Bible says that love should be our priority: “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:1-3, NIV) 

I must be honest with you...most of my clients wanted to love and be loved. Many of them were sincere believers, but when it came to love, it seemed like they were lost. The Bible says, “my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge...” (Hosea 4:6, NIV). In my experience, I’ve discovered most couples have never learned to speak the same love language as their mates or kids. It’s not that they were unwilling to love—it’s that they didn’t know how.

Do you know the five different love languages? I’d love to unwrap them for you today. Here are the five love languages from Gary Chapman:  

1. Words of affirmation  
2. Gifts  
3. Acts of service  
4. Quality time  
5. Physical touch 

I’ll never forget the first few years of my marriage to Denise. It was difficult, hard, and even miserable until we learned we were speaking different love languages. Her needs weren’t being met, and mine weren't either. I wanted more physical touch and words of affirmation, and she wanted more quality time and acts of service. It really felt like we were speaking two different languages. 

Have you learned to speak your family’s love languages? Have they learned your language? Are you willing to learn their languages? I’m praying that your willingness will open up more love than you can even imagine. Don’t give up on the first few attempts. I believe God will help you because He loves you and you are a miracle. 

Your friend, Paul Marc Goulet