Forms of LoveSample

Love By Not Doing

I recently entered a relationship. This seemingly perpetually single girl has found a man who loves Jesus, and who thinks she’s alright, too. Miracles really do happen. It has produced the wonderfully dizzying days of new love. Sweet moments of deep connection. Exciting moments of discovery. The ache of wanting to spend every waking moment with him because I find him so fascinating that I’m beginning to wonder what life was like before. Yep, crazy, stupid love.

In these early stages, we can get focused on showing the other person how much they mean to us. In fact, in any form of love – friendship, family, even our love for God – we can get caught up in a cycle of showing the other how much we love them through action and miss that love can also be expressed in the things we won’t do – that an act of not doing what we instinctually feel drawn to do can be the greater expression of the love.

God showed us the power of expressing love through ‘not doing’ when He gave us free will. He was willing to hold back His power to mandate we love Him because of how much He loves us.

Like a mother keeping her instinct at bay to rush to pick up her child as they stumble learning to walk, all because she loves her child enough to teach them how to get back up again. Or a friend not leaping in to fix or edify the other, rather choosing to not speak at all and simply sit with their friend as they grieve. Or a Father not reaching down to save His Son hanging on a cross because withholding His instinct was the greater expression of love.

What areas of your life would be the greater expression of love by ‘not doing’?

Written by NERI MORRIS