God's Adoption for the FatherlessSample

Day Four – Performance Driven vs. Love of the Father

On vacation at the beach one year, I grabbed a ball and went to a paved court nearby to shoot baskets. My son, Micah, came with me and tried to play. Since he was small with no experience, the ball bounced away when he dribbled. He couldn’t make a shot.

Soon, Micah sat off to the side with his head down. I said, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m losing,” he said.

“No,” I answered. “You’re learning.”

A sign of the Orphan Spirit is being extremely performance-driven, both with ourselves and others. For kids in orphanages or foster care, they begin with a lie that the abandonment was their fault. Moving forward with other temporary families, they feel constant pressure to be “good enough” to stay and be in a family that might love them.

The lie – People left us because we weren’t “good enough,” and we must work to prove our value.

This lie impacts our identity, and we’re always working from a deficit, exhausting ourselves to achieve unrealistic expectations. We avoid too much risk due to fear of failure and deny ourselves some important opportunities. We project the same issue onto others, expecting too much from them and associating their value with performance, too.

The Truth – to God, we have intrinsic, eternal value, apart from what we do.

God sent his Son to a lost and dying world because he already loved us, not so we could prove our worth. He loved and died for us while we were still sinners and rebels. Our value isn’t based on performance.

We understand value based on what someone will pay for it. A watch is worth $1,000 because someone will spend that to get it.

Do you want to know how God values us? He gave his most precious gift, his only Son, to die and reconcile us to himself. That’s how very much he wants us to be in his family, all before we were born and could do anything.

With this foundation, we can love others from God’s love, not to get it. We can now see the same eternal value in individuals and celebrate them as amazing, eternal gifts.

Father, thank you for your abundant love and how much you value me and others around me. Help me to further understand and live the truth of my value and those around me. Amen.