When Making Others Happy Is Making You MiserableSample

Day Two: People Pleaser or God Follower?
Key Verse: Galatians 1:10

My friend and her husband were embarking on quite an adventure. They sensed God calling them to become a foster family, taking in children from difficult home situations and gifting them with a safe place to grow and thrive.

They’d filled out the necessary paperwork and been approved. When I met her for coffee one afternoon, I was expecting her to gush with enthusiasm and maybe a little apprehension. But what I wasn’t prepared for was the story she told me through her tears.

She had told her parents what their family was about to do. She knew they would likely ask a few questions because foster care wasn’t something anyone in her extended family had ever done. But what she wasn’t expecting was outright opposition. Her parents brought up every possible thing that could go wrong conveying not only their disapproval of the decision but also their lack of support. She was told to think again about their decision because these opinion-slinging relatives were certain they were about to make the wrong one.

I was brokenhearted for my friend. They were going to need support, not only tangibly, with meals brought in and help to buy items for the children, but also emotionally. How upsetting for them to discover they couldn’t count on such support from some of their extended family.

I hugged her and promised that our family would be there to help. When we finished our time together, however, her spirits were still dashed. But surprisingly, when we met later that month, her countenance and confidence had shifted. I was so inquisitive, I just had to ask what happened.

While grappling with her dashed emotions, she had carefully sought the Lord. After a few days of praying and reading God’s Word, she’d discovered a new perspective, a conclusion she could sum up in one simple sentence. She looked at me and confidently announced, “I finally realized that I do not need their permission to do God’s will.”

Wow. What a powerful proclamation!

Her priorities had been misplaced. She cared more about what her parents thought of her family’s decision than she did about what she’d discerned was God’s plan. When she stopped putting these people in the place of God, she was more willing to deal with any unpleasant outcome.

Galatians 1:10 poses an important question. The apostle Paul first posed it centuries ago but it is one that is still relevant for us today: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (NIV)

Hold up! Wait—what!? People in Bible times struggled with people-pleasing? Yes, they did.

The Greek word for please is transliterated to English as areskó. At its core, it means “to agree to satisfy another in order to win their approval, affection, or attention; to meet their expectations; to willingly serve.” Knowing this comprehensive definition causes the verse to pop much more than it does when reading it in English!

Boy, do I hate to admit it, but there are so many times I give myself up to someone else’s will rather than boldly and bravely choose to do what would most please God. Now, of course, if what someone else desires is in line with God’s will, that’s altogether different. However, when we feel that twinge of tension, we must choose to place pleasing God above placating people and determine to daringly speak truth while being careful to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.

Let’s determine to seek the Lord’s plan rather than pursuing the approval of others. It won’t always be easy, but God is continually faithful. He can teach us how to confidently live our lives despite the expectations and opinions of others.

Respond

Have you ever felt confined by your actions because you wanted the approval or admiration of someone else? What happened?

Think about this phrase: “You do not need their permission to do God's will.” Is there a situation in your life where you need to apply this saying?

Prayer

Father, teach me that I am not solely responsible for the feelings of others, but I am responsible before You for my actions. Grant me boldness when I need it; tender, yet direct, words when they are necessary. May I learn to manage the tension between pleasing You and relating to others. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.