Parenting With Grace Sample

Grace and Tolerance

Grace is not an antidote for the effects of sin. And grace is not tolerance. Tolerance and grace are often thought to go together. You show grace to others by showing tolerance toward them. A dictionary definition of tolerance includes “recognizing and respecting the beliefs and practices of others without sharing them,” and “putting up with those you don’t agree with.”

In today’s culture, tolerance it is no longer recognizing and respecting; it has become “endorsing and embracing.” Even remaining silent is unacceptable. Any variance from the culturally-approved view is deemed not just wrong, but evil. In the face of cultural intolerance, how can we teach our children grace and real tolerance?

Tolerance must begin at home. We teach our children to tolerate each other, not to demand tolerance for them selves. True tolerance understands that we are imperfect, needing frequent forgiveness and grace – and this includes mom and dad. If we make a mistake against any of our children, it is wise to ask for their forgiveness. When our children see us loving, forgiving, asking for forgiveness, accepting, and showing grace to each other, they learn tolerance.

The challenge for parents in a culture in which what God calls sin has become ‘the new normal,’ is that children need to learn that grace does not mean tolerance of sin. Sin is an offense to God, who has freely extended His grace to us. Loving and accepting a person who is in bondage to sin, without endorsing their sin, is how we show tolerance with grace. A child who grows up in a family where grace and forgiveness are consistently displayed learns that sinners are of great value to God and not beyond the reach of His forgiveness and restoration. But demanding tolerance for sin is a rejection of God. When we sin, we need to confess it, and receive God’s forgiving grace.

If our sinning child is demanding tolerance from us, we need to remember that grace does not mean excusing sin; it means loving them enough to tell them that. Although their sin is an offense to God, they are still precious and valuable and loved, not only by us, but by their heavenly Father as well. It is our God and Savior Jesus Christ against whom they are sinning, and it is He who gave Himself to redeem them and forgive them. That is the very essence of grace.