Seeing the Way Jesus Sees

“Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.”—1 Chronicles 16:11 (NIV)

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”—Isaiah 40:29, 31 (NIV)

“The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights.”—Habakkuk 3:19 (NIV)

Before I began my journey of single-parent fostering, I asked two single foster moms for advice. They said it was important to see the biological families of foster children the way Jesus sees them, and then love these families as Jesus does.

As I was being prepped for the temporary placement of two girls, I heard countless stories of the biological mother’s excuses and broken promises. My heart was breaking for the girls entering my care. But instead of focusing on the mistakes their mom had made, I chose to put my energy into establishing a healthy relationship with her.

When I first met “bio mom,” I realized that getting to know this woman was going to be challenging. We didn’t even speak the same language! The first time she came to my home to pick up the girls for their weekend visit, she had her 4-year-old son (also in foster care) in the car. It was hot and her car had no air conditioning. I ran inside to get the boy a juice box and a snack. I watched her face light up as I handed him the goodies.

As the months passed, I continued to bring her son little treats and prizes when he and his mom arrived to pick up the girls for visitation. Bio-mom occasionally accepted a bottle of water for herself. I often sent her photos of her daughters and celebrated their accomplishments with her.

When the girls started school in the fall, their teachers said they were like new kids, more confident and working harder than ever. They were performing well in school and making their teachers (and me) very proud.

As their time in my care was coming to an end, I tearfully helped them pack their things. Thinking about the relationship I had built with their mom helped ease the pain a bit. Even though she and I couldn’t have a complete conversation, our relationship had grown stronger than I could ever have imagined. All it took was showing kindness—and a lot of Jesus’ love.

Our relationship has continued to grow. The girls’ mom asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. In one translated text she wrote, “They changed when they were with you—they changed for the better.” Her message touched me deeply.

I’m not sure my relationship with the mom would have been possible if I hadn’t heard those two single foster moms speak words of grace, hope, and love over me. These kinds of relationships can get messy, but there is hope because the Lord has given us the ability to see as He sees and love as He loves.

To foster means to love the children and the biological parents you are serving. Out of everything you can offer and provide for these children and their biological families, love is the most powerful of them all.