The Bulletproof Leader: Overcome FailureSample

Embrace Humility

Public failure isn’t just painful; it can prove catastrophic if experienced without hope for recovery. I know men and women who never regained their strength after slip-ups or scandals. The public scrutiny was a fatal stake driven deep into the heart of the leader. An excellent guideline on how to help a fellow leader recover from failure is found in a letter that St. Paul wrote to a small band of Christians: “If another believer is overcome by some sin…gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself ” (Galatians 6:1 NLT).

I have learned from my own mistakes that there comes a point when we have to stop staring at our self-inflicted wounds and allow others to help bind them up. Although we may not feel like letting others reach out and help rescue us, that humility is a part of the healing process. Remember that pride resists the presence of others, but humility grabs hold of the hand that extends grace.

Not long ago I reached out to a friend who experienced a moral slip. It took months before he would even answer my call. Although he never explained why he was slow to respond, I knew it was because he felt embarrassed and unworthy of a friend. Later he admitted that his shame had convinced him that conversation with others would be too difficult; sitting alone in silence seemed his only salvation. We’ve all experienced seasons where solitude felt like our only solution. If you know of someone who has experienced the trauma of having stones thrown at them because of their behavior, don’t let them sit and stare at their scars alone. Run to the wounded. Sometimes just pulling up a chair and sitting beside them can give them hope and help them see a way out of their situation.

To attack us when we are down is like pouring salt in a wound. Criticism does not permit healing to take place. Criticism is a seed that produces discouragement. It takes several compliments to undo one word of complaint.

If you have dealt with leaders, then you know that while most of them are not wired to receive pity, they can still be open to empathy. One of the best ways to comfort a leader is to speak hope concerning their future. In times of chaos, weigh out your words, making sure they are healing up wounds and not reopening them. Instead of focusing on the transgression, gently remind wounded colleagues of their worth. Point out times when they have made a difference in the business or in someone’s life. Keep them focused on a future goal and remind them that God is still for them. Even after Peter denied Jesus, Jesus was gracious enough to remind him of his calling.