Breaking Open How Your Pain Becomes the Path to Living AgainSample

Vulnerability, Not Capability

At the heart of anxiety is fear. This fear, whether acknowledged or not, is that we won’t be able to pull everything off. My anxiety, when it is traced back, is usually rooted in a realization that I can’t do it all, achieve it all, and please them all. My very breath was acknowledging that I wasn’t going to have enough to pull it all off. I was trying to breathe when what I needed to do was cry—cry to God.

When we are afraid, though, we breathe more. Well, sort of. We take more breaths—rapid and shallow ones. These breaths take place only in the upper part of the lungs, not engaging the lower part, where the real breath comes from. So we think we are taking more breaths, trying to get more air, but actually, the more you breathe like that, the less you actually breathe.

Let’s try a slow, deep breath. How about another? And while you breathe, I’ll tell you about Joshua. And I’ll tell you, in this place of acknowledging and facing our incapable places, how God makes us breathe again. He actually makes all our breaths happen. We aren’t capable of doing it on our own. That realization can lead to fear or a new kind of vulnerability, a new level of it. And in that vulnerable place, open to God, we learn that we are capable. Amazingly capable, but not in the way we thought.

Let’s look at Joshua.

Our introduction to Joshua is as a young man, when he was handed the reins to lead the people of God. The context clues in the book of the Bible that bears Joshua’s name all point to the fact that Joshua didn’t feel he was ready. He did not think he had reached the place in his life for the sudden responsibility that was just handed to him. Oh, and I missed a big detail. Moses had died. His mentor, boss, and leader was dead. Moses was everyone’s leader, but Joshua had spent his life walking next to Moses. Now he was gone. And everybody knew, including Joshua, that he was now in charge. Joshua was the one who was tasked to lead, well, everything and everybody. That’s adulting on a whole new level.

Thankfully, God had something to say to Joshua.

He said, "Moses my servant is dead. Now then, you and all these people, get ready to cross the Jordan River into the land I am about to give to them” (Joshua 1:2). God told Joshua that, finally, after waiting decades, the Israelites were going into the promised land, and Joshua would take them. Not Moses, Joshua.

At this point I’m guessing Joshua was looking for a paper bag to breathe into. There is no doubt that Joshua started to breathe faster and shorter. He breathed more but got less air. To hyperventilate is to breathe faster, thereby expelling more carbon dioxide and inhaling less oxygen. Joshua probably felt light-headed.

God told Joshua, “Be strong and courageous” (Joshua 1:6).

“Be strong and courageous” is another way of saying, “Don’t be afraid.”

As Joshua put his head between his knees to get his breath back, God told him to be strong and courageous. Then God gave some more instruction and realized Joshua still wasn’t hearing him. God said again, “Be strong and very courageous” (v. 7).

God started giving more instruction about the importance of following his commands and then, yep, God said it again. The third time, he said, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go” (v. 9).

Three times God stopped during the conversation to say, “Are you all right? Oh, you’re not all right. Don’t be afraid.”

Joshua was struggling with cold, hard, real fear. Joshua was insecure and sure he couldn’t do what God was asking of him.

God’s people feel fear. Fear is a normal, God-given emotion. Fear doesn’t mean you have done something wrong. It often means you are being called to something new, something great, something powerful.

The place God was calling Joshua to, God would give to Joshua. This is a foundational truth from the Word of God we need to hear: Every good and perfect gift is from God (James 1:17). Every good thing you get will not be earned by you but given by God.

God told Joshua to meditate on his Word day and night “so that you may be careful to do everything written in it” (Joshua 1:8, emphasis added). Simply put, there is power found in being obedient to God’s Word. Doing our own thing and operating under our own power are not the pathways to life. When we break God’s laws, we find ourselves in increasing places of anxiety and incapability.

Who can do everything written in the book, though? None of us! No, not one (Psalm 14:1–3). But, with humble hearts and the willingness to seek to follow all God’s commands, we keep ourselves in that vulnerable place where God gets to stay God and we get to enjoy the good gifts he gives us. On the breaking-open pathway, we don’t let our inability to get everything right be an excuse for not living in the abundance of what God desires for us.

We know our story, we keep God’s commands, and we remind one another over and over of the truth found in vulnerability. We step away from the traps of self-sufficiency once and for all and desperately seek God together.

Vulnerability, not capability, is the way to life.

Respond

Describe a time when you found strength in a situation by being vulnerable before the Lord.

List areas where you currently need to be vulnerable and ask the Lord to help you.

Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank You that in my weakness and vulnerability, You are strong. You are with me. I need not be afraid. Amen.