A Biblical Approach to Parenting Your AthleteSample

## The Ride Home (What to say right after the game)

READY:

> “Do you see someone who speaks too soon? There is more hope for a fool than for him. –” Proverbs 29:20

SET: Your words matter.

Immediately following the athlete’s competition, a flood of emotions run through their hearts, win or lose. This is a critical time in the parent/child relational dynamic---it is either a time of building up or tearing down, with the parent in control of the result for their child.

My dad was a high school football coach when I was a young athlete. Though he was relatively mild-mannered, I remember dreading his coaching points or critiques of my performance on the car ride home. I wished there was some way we could have waited a few days for his well-intended feedback.

The worst thing I could have imagined at the time was disappointing my father with how I performed. I’ve heard the expression “children love their mothers but live for their fathers.” That was true in my life. So much of my identity as a child was tied to what my daddy thought after games. We know that the time after the competition, when emotions are high, and identities are being shaped, is so critical---so critical, in fact, that I think all vehicles being used by parents to drive their children home from games should come with a warning light on the dashboard: “Warning, fragile egos on board.”

This resource is intended to better equip you, the parent of an athlete, to navigate those sometimes unpleasant, often volatile rides home with your child. First, let’s see what the Bible says about the subject. Before reading God’s Word, asking God to help you understand what He wants you to understand is good practice.

WORKOUT: Bible Discussion

Ephesians 4:29

James 1:19

Matthew 15:18

Colossians 4:6

GO:

1- Find some principles being taught or lessons you learned about God or from God.

2- Which specific verse is speaking to your heart? Give the reason why that verse is most meaningful to you.

3- When have your words “built up” your child, and how did those positive words affect your child? What positive response did your child exhibit?

4- What is the one “big idea” or “take away” you get from these verses, and how might you use it after your child’s next game?

OVERTIME: Practice Session

1- After your child’s next game, surprise them by taking them to get donuts, the ice cream shop, or their favorite bakery for a treat. Refrain from any critique of the game. Get your child talking about what they experienced in the game, not hearing you talk about how you feel about it.

2- Your child needs to hear from you right after the competition, win or lose. Try one of these phrases after the next game: “I love you,” “I’m so proud of you,” “You are the best,” “I love watching you play,” or “There is nowhere else in the world I’d rather be than cheering for you.”

The Ride Home Testimonial