Divided We Stand: How to Love When We DisagreeSample

The Enemy of Prejudice is Proximity

Think about one group of people that you disagree with around a particular issue. What are your assumptions about those people? Does someone mislead them? Are they simply foolish, or put more bluntly, stupid? Or perhaps they are evil, actively seeking to harm or damage? These are the narratives often pushed in the public arena, and, most likely, the people on the “other side” of this issue have some of the same assumptions about you!

However, people often have very good reasons for their views. They have had experiences that convince them they’re true. Most often, from their perspective this is the rational, moral view on the issue. We might deeply disagree with them, but in humility in Christ, we can find ourselves leaning in and asking a beautiful question, “What causes them to see it differently?”

That question can be incredibly disarming, especially if we are courageous enough to ask them directly. When we start to be curious about what we don’t know and what we might be missing, it naturally leads us into conversations where our goal is to understand, not argue.

These curious conversations sound like, “Tell me more,” “I never saw it that way,” “I’d like to think about that more,” and “I can see why that’s your perspective.” We know that we have listened to understand when we can explain their position back to them in a way they would fully support. This is not to say you agree with them. This means that you have taken the time to respect and truly understand their views. Now, if you share your view on the issue, you will likely have a far different reception than if you barreled in without understanding their side. Genuine curiosity is remarkably disarming.

Reflection:

What is a topic where you need some more perspectives to understand the other side fully?

Who might you reach to genuinely understand their perspective better?