Overcoming PornSample

Identify How and Why You Struggle

Perhaps you’re reading this because you struggle with porn or masturbation. Maybe you find yourself going back to it over and over, despite your best efforts to stop. Understand that your porn use is not random. It’s not merely a result of lust or sinful desire. There is a reason why you look at porn, and you must discover that reason if you want to experience freedom.

God creates every human being with desires—or heart longings—that drive everything we do. The Bible lists seven, including our need to be accepted and appreciated, the assurance of safety, and the affirmation of our feelings. All of our actions, thoughts, beliefs, and choices are ways we try to get our desires met. When we are unable to find healthy ways to fulfill our desires, we turn to unhealthy behaviors.

I have personal experience with this. Growing up, I faced deep hurt, confusion, and trauma. I lived with bullying, my father’s anger, depression, and a deep sense that I didn’t belong anywhere. I even thought of suicide. At an early age, I became addicted to porn, and I continued to struggle with it for years despite my best efforts to quit. My addiction finally began to go away when I started to explore the deeper reasons I went to porn and how to experience what I was truly longing for. It was only then that God started to bring true healing; today, I’ve been free from porn and masturbation for over 9 years.

I discovered that I watched porn to find pseudo-acceptance and love when I felt rejected and inadequate. When I felt unwanted and unloved, porn was there. I felt desired and pursued by the people on the screen. I watched porn to feel a sense of safety when all else felt unsafe in my life. Perhaps you struggle with porn due to any number of these reasons. God invites us to begin to shed our porn use as we learn what we are longing for in it and experience fulfillment through Him and one another. Begin by questioning your porn use rather than simply condemning it. What leads you to look at porn? What are you longing for or desiring in it?

In addition, to grow, we need to move towards healthy relationships with both God and people. We need to be honest with ourselves, God, and safe people about our fears, struggles, hopes, and dreams. We need support each day from God and others. Spend time with God each day, allowing Him to speak to you through His Word and being aware of His presence throughout each day. Allow Him to meet the longings of your heart. Reach out to others each day and process the good and the bad.

God, please help me understand what I am looking for. Help me be honest with myself and with You. Give me faith to trust that You can help me.