God, I Feel SadSample

A Time for Sadness

Everyone feels sad sometimes, and that’s okay. It’s also okay to sit with that feeling of sadness for a time. And when facing moments of deeper grief, it’s even okay to fall apart for a little while.

We don’t usually allow ourselves time to do that though, do we? Our culture shies away from sadness, urging us back to the happy as quickly as possible—or at least to hide our tears. But working through emotions takes longer than most realize. We need at least ninety seconds to recognize a feeling, identify where it’s showing up in our body, and then release it with a movement such as a deep breath, sigh, or other body movements. And for the bigger, more intense sadness of grief and trauma, this process can not only take longer but may also repeat itself over and over again.

Jesus understands intense emotions. When He received the news of John the Baptist’s death, He sought out a place to be alone in His sadness and with His Father. But the world chased after Him. Responsibilities found Him. And He felt compelled to set His sadness aside to care for those He loved. That happens sometimes, doesn’t it? The world doesn’t stop turning no matter how we might wish it would. But notice what Jesus does after His flock is fed: “He went up alone into the hills to pray” (Matthew 14:23). Jesus picked up His sadness—the sadness He had set aside—and carried it to His Father, the One who could comfort Him (2 Corinthians 1:3). Because He knows it’s okay to be sad.

For Little Ones:

We have all kinds of feelings, don’t we? Some feel wonderful—like being happy and excited. What makes you feel happy and excited?

Other feelings aren’t so wonderful to feel—like being sad. Do you remember a time when you felt sad? Why did you feel that way?

It’s okay to feel sad sometimes. It’s okay to cry. And it’s okay to ask for hugs or to want to be by yourself for a little while. When you’re sad, that’s a great time to talk to God and tell Him all about it. He always understands, and He’s always ready to comfort and help you.

In moments of sadness:

• When your child is sad, here are a few things not to say: “Don’t be sad,” “You’re fine,” or “It’s going to be okay.”
• Instead, slow yourself down and offer a hug. Help your child name their feeling. Say things like, “Tell me all about it,” and “Where are you feeling that sadness in your body?” (It might be in the eyes, throat, tummy, or an all-over ache.)
• Remember, children may feel sad about things that happened in the past, that might happen in the future, or even things that seem silly to you. Be gentle with what they’re feeling even if you don’t fully understand it.