Managing Your EmojisSample

Anger Control

“People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.” Proverbs 14:29

Michelle

“I’m mad. I’m really, really mad.” As my preschooler told me how he felt about having to pick up his toys and stop playing, I smiled at his words because he was naming his emotions.

One of the first steps to releasing your emotions is to name them. Say the name to yourself or out loud. Then, try and figure out where you feel the mad in your body. Is your heart racing? Does your stomach hurt? Maybe there is a place in your body that tenses up, like your neck or shoulders.

If you feel you are getting angry a lot, you may need to adjust or change your expectations about what you want to happen next. The reason my son was so mad was that he expected to play with his toys as long as he wanted and resented being interrupted by me.

As I write these words, Nolan is now almost twelve, but his biggest struggle with anger today is very similar to when he was three. Now he plays games online with his friends. He makes plans without always checking our family schedule. So, when I ask him to do something or tell him we have to go somewhere, I can see him battling his anger about things not going his way and choosing to control how loud his voice is, how distressed he sounds, and the words he chooses to use. I think about when he first started working on responding calmly. I could tell by watching his face and body, it was a hard struggle. But over time and with practice, it seemed to take less time for him to control his emotions.

Embracing Calm

Sometimes, when I work with families in our counseling offices, parents report to me that their child is mad all the time, but often, the kid doesn’t agree. I then ask everyone in the family to track when they got mad for a week. I ask them to write down what happened and then rate on a scale from one to ten how mad they got. If you struggle with melting down and getting mad, you might want to check the frequency (how often your mad happens) and intensity (how big it is on a scale from one to ten).

Giving Your Mad to God

God, help me train my brain to become more flexible instead of getting mad when my plans are interrupted. Amen.