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Calling all of us who worry about conflict or avoid it at all costs—this one’s for you! Paul wrote here to remind the Ephesians there was a better way. It’s a reminder we can all use today too! When we struggle with conflict, we can take our direction from the very first words here: speak the truth in love. In conflict, we have to stop and check our hearts.

Are we coming to this confrontation in love? Or are we coming in anger? Is our hope to show respect and love to the other person? Or is our hope to see them hurt the same way they hurt us? Is our goal to resolve the conflict in love? Or is our goal to make it worse? When we check our hearts to make sure the reason we’re coming to the conflict is born out of love, then we can trust that our motivations in the showdown are coming from a place that will grow the body of Christ, building it up piece by piece. After all, isn’t this the goal for all believers? To see the body of Christ built up in love? Take time to talk to your small group leader or a trusted friend or person in your life about what this verse means to you. Ask them to help you choose to speak the truth in love—even when it’s hard!