Laughter and Lament: The Radical Freedom of Joy and SorrowSample

Control: The Mother of All Addictions

One of the reasons many of us don’t experience life—the abundant life Jesus promised—is that we run from both pain and laughter, neither of which can be controlled. The darkness of lament is facing what can’t be fixed and the fear of inappropriate laughter is facing what can’t be stopped. In both cases, our efforts at control are useless.

Acceptance is another word for giving up control. It’s the recognition that some things, as horrible as they are, simply aren’t fixable. Bad stuff happens—sometimes really bad stuff. Jesus said that God “makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends his rain on the just and the unjust” (Mathew 5:45). In other words, life really is hard and nobody can live as an outsider of the human race. When Job’s life came apart, he told his wife who had told him to “curse God and die,” “You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?” (Job 2:9–10). Later Job said that if God should kill him he would still trust God (Job 13:15). That was the last positive spiritual thing Job says in the book.

Like you and me, Job questioned God, had doubts, and did his cussing and spitting. However, a surprising thing happens in Job chapters 38–41. Job decided to question God, and God says, “I don’t think so. I will question you, and you will answer me.” And God does that with a series of questions that are humbling for anybody, and for Job, really humbling. He starts with, “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding” (Job 38:4). After that there is one question after another and, with each question, I suspect Job was looking for a place to hide. Job said, “I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know” (Job 42:3). At that point, Job gave up control . . . and God poured out his favor on Job.

So, as a Christian, do what Paul says to do: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances . . .” (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18). And Paul repeats the same admonition in an even stronger way to the Ephesians by saying that they should sing and make melody “to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Ephesians 5:19–20, italics added).

If you’re into control (and I am) the only way to deal with it is to recognize and intentionally affirm that everything (and that does mean everything) is a God thing.