The Sanctity of Marriage

By Rob Nieminen

“‘Why then,’ they asked, ‘did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?’ Jesus replied, ‘Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.’ The disciples said to him, ‘If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.’ Jesus replied, ‘Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.’”—Matthew 19:7–11 (NIV)

As I mentioned in yesterday’s devotional, I approach the topic of divorce with humility, having gone through the painful process twice now in my life. I won’t get into the details but, rather, will focus on today’s text because what God has to say about divorce is far more important than what I do.

Prior to this passage, Jesus said God intended for a man and a woman to become “one flesh” and for the couple to make their marriage a higher priority than loyalty to their parents and families (Matthew 19:4–6). In short, He upheld the sanctity of marriage while emphasizing that divorce isn’t part of God’s original design for humanity.

But the Pharisees kept pressing Him: “Why then did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” they asked. Notice the subtle twist the Pharisees added here: the word “command.” If God doesn’t want divorce, then why did He give Moses a law for it?

You can sense the trap they were trying to set for Jesus. If He contradicts Moses, then they could easily dismiss Him as a heretic. But with the precision of a courtroom lawyer, Jesus turns the conversation around and gets right to the point we touched on in yesterday’s devotional: It’s not the institution of marriage that’s the problem; it’s our hearts.

“Divorce is never commanded, but permitted by God in certain circumstances, and God permits it because of the hardness of human hearts,” the Enduring Word Bible Commentary notes. “It was as if Jesus said this: ‘Here is the ideal; and here is the allowance of God when human sinfulness and hardness of heart has made the ideal unobtainable.’”

That’s not to say because perfection in marriage isn’t possible we should use divorce as a “get-out-of-jail-free” card for “any and every reason,” as the Pharisees suggested in Matthew 19:3 (NIV). In fact, Jesus limits the legitimate circumstances for divorce to sexual immorality (and to which the apostle Paul later adds abandonment by an unbelieving spouse in 1 Corinthians 7:12–15). I would say where there is abuse in the marriage, there is certainly ground for separation for the safety of the victim and/or children as well.

Jesus’ words were so challenging to everyone’s thinking about divorce that the disciples wondered whether it was better to stay single rather than bother with marriage. He acknowledges that celibacy isn’t for everyone; rather, it’s a gift from God or a gift to God by those who want to exclusively focus on the work of God’s kingdom without the challenges of married life (1 Corinthians 7:1–17).

For the rest of us, what can we take away from this passage? First, we can acknowledge that marriage in its purest form is a beautiful picture of God’s love for His people (Ephesians 5:22–32). But because of sin, it can be incredibly difficult—and it may even feel unbearable at times. Even so, “divorce is never to be thought of as a God-ordained, morally neutral option,” Bible commentator D.A. Carson noted.

Jesus took marriage very seriously, as should we. That being said, if you find yourself on the other side of a broken marriage, trust me when I say from experience that God is in the business of making all things new, and He will use all things (including your divorce) for your good (Romans 8:28).

Pause: How do you think the culture during biblical times influenced their views on marriage and divorce? How do you think today’s culture influences our views?

Practice: Take a moment to do a word study on marriage and divorce in the Bible. What do you think God is saying about marriage and divorce in these passages?

Pray: Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of marriage. I ask You to strengthen my marriage and/or the marriages of those around me so we can reflect on the beauty of Your love for the church. Help me be an encouragement to those who are divorced. Bring Your healing to those who are putting the pieces of a broken marriage back together. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.