Benefits of Being Friends First

Proverbs 17:17

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”

You don't necessarily have to be friends first before dating. It's perfectly okay to dive straight into dating if the chemistry and attraction are strong from the get-go. Nothing in the Bible talks about a friends-first approach being the right way or better.

But… There are benefits to going this route. Like Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times.” There is something special about building a relationship on a solid foundation of friendship — a connection that can stand the test of time and weather any storm.

1. Deep Understanding

When you start as friends, you get to know the real person behind the romantic gestures. This deep understanding of each other's personalities, habits, and preferences can make your relationship more fulfilling and less prone to misunderstandings. You learn how they react to stress, what makes them laugh, and what their dreams are, helping you to connect on a deeper level.

2. Built-In Trust

Trust is the bedrock of any strong relationship, and a friendship allows this trust to develop organically. You'll see each other at your best and worst and prove that you can rely on each other. This established trust means you're not starting from scratch but building on a solid foundation of mutual respect and reliability.

3. Less Pressure

Starting out as friends removes the pressure often associated with dating. Without the immediate expectations of romance, you can relax and be yourself. This laid-back atmosphere encourages genuine interactions and allows your connection to grow naturally without forcing anything.

4. Emotional Connection

Friendship fosters a type of intimacy that is not solely based on physical attraction. It creates a bond over shared experiences, values, and beliefs. This emotional connection can lead to a stronger and long-lasting relationship because it's based on more than just surface-level attraction.

However, in the spirit of transparency, this approach can also have challenges. It can be confusing and hard to set boundaries, especially if there is chemistry from the beginning. That’s why if you go with this approach, it’s best to be upfront about your intentions and desires.

Transitioning from just friends to something more can also be awkward. Even if there is chemistry, you may find yourself stuck in an unintentionally friend-zoned relationship. It takes a lot of communication and understanding to move beyond just friends and establish what a romantic relationship looks like to both people.

Today, as you reflect on whether a friends-first approach to dating is right for you, dedicate some time to prayer. Ask God for guidance on this path. He knows the plans He has for you, including who you will date and eventually marry. Seek His wisdom on what's best for you and the person you're considering getting to know better. Trust that He will lead you in the right direction.