Our Sexual OnenessSample

Day 2: Johanna’s Story

Some years ago, a pastor and his wife came to me, Barry, for counseling. Their marriage was in serious trouble. The husband had lost almost all desire for his wife, and he had become rather bitter and critical toward his bride of 30 years. He explained that she was like a machine, always doing the right thing but lacked passion toward him. He went on to say she would make love, but never actually had sexual desire in their thirty years of marriage. Johanna quietly confirmed these statements. She shared that she had grown up in a very strict, austere home, where the terror of crossing her father’s wishes permeated the atmosphere. One of the wonderful things about Johanna was her willingness to hear and obey God’s voice despite her own fears and desires.

A few weeks later, while alone with the Lord, He spoke to Johanna and said, “Will you let Me change you sexually?” The thought of this deeply frightened Johanna, however, she seriously considered what the Lord had asked her, and she cautiously but willingly answered, “Yes.” Proverbs 16:20 says, “Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord.” Weeks later, Johanna told me of her encounter with God that night and her decision to say, “Yes.” She went on to report that after the encounter, night after night she was awakened from her sleep and literally felt things being drawn out of her. Soon things began to change for her. Her husband excitedly reported that he had never seen this side of his wife before. Her sexual desire was increasing, and she was stepping into what God had for her and her husband intimately. However, the Lord had one more thing he wanted to ask her and that was, “Will you initiate sexual intimacy with your husband?” This again was frightening for Johanna but because of her willingness to be changed and obey, she said, ‘Yes.” Though their marriage was still healing in other areas, Johanna was totally healed, after 30 years of marriage, from the fear of being sexual. After a few months she reported that she felt totally normal sexually and now looked forward to it. It is important to note that it was the Lord who took the initiative and asked Johanna, “Will you let Me change you sexually.” Sexuality is important to God.

One of the most amazing things about this story is that it wasn’t until after the sexual healing took place, that Johanna disclosed to me that she had been sexually abused as a child. With God’s help, we worked through that abuse rather quickly using inner healing. It was interesting that God first had her risk and step out sexually before the sexual abuse was addressed. That is opposite of the typical natural process. I don’t know why He worked in that order, but it is obvious God’s ways can’t be put into a box or formula. We simply know that He loves to heal His people.

Ponder & Pray: Lord, show me the freedom you want to give me as I trust you on this journey of sexual intimacy. What do you still want to teach me about bringing Your love into our sexual relationship?

Activation: The Lord is asking you, “Would you be willing to let Him change you?”

1. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you anything that has hindered your sexual relationship from being all the Lord wants it to be. Take a few minutes to listen to the Holy Spirit and then share with each other.
2. If you have not been sexually intimate in a while, ask the Holy Spirit’s help to determine a plan to restore physical and sexual intimacy with each other. You may need to reconcile and ask forgiveness for some ways you have hurt each other before you can comfortably be sexually intimate. The Reconciliation Tool was discussed in a previous devotional.
3. As you move forward together with the plan Holy Spirit has given you, be sure to intentionally use the tools we have given you in previous devotionals to deal with any past history, past patterns or mindsets you have operated under that are not what God has for you. Ask the Holy Spirit to come and be with you in this time, as unto the Lord.