Communication Skills: A 3-Day Marriage PlanSample

Quick Listening

"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." (James 1:19)

The ability to listen well is harder than it seems. You may recall this old party game: A girl whispers to the boy next to her a sentence such as “Three cows crossed the road to drink from the stream.” The boy then whispers the sentence to another boy sitting next to him, and on the message goes in a circle. By the time the sentence gets back to the person who started it, it’s transformed into “Trees grow crusty toadstools to think about steam.”

Communication between husband and wife can become equally muddled unless we follow the scriptural wisdom offered in James 1:19: Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Author‐counselors Chuck and Barb Snyder recommend a “quick listening” technique based on this verse. Following a disagreement, a husband and wife sit down together and fully explain their feelings about the issue. The catch is that the other spouse can’t interrupt. Partners may try this and still disagree, but by giving their opinion and listening to their mate’s, they’ll increase their chances of understanding each other . . . and of staying best friends.

Questions for Today . . .

• Do you sometimes feel that you say one thing and your spouse hears something else?
• Do you tend to interrupt before others can fully express himself or herself?
• If you tried “quick listening” after all your disagreements, how might it change your marriage?

Prayer . . .

Father, I want to put Your truths about listening, speaking, and controlling anger to work in my marriage. I ask You to give me Your grace and strength. Help me to stick with it—and help me to notice the good results! Amen.

(Excerpted from Dr. James and Shirley Dobson’s book, Night Light for Couples. Used with permission.)

Bonus Content: An Important Step in Approaching Conflict in Marriage

When we look at problems from only our own perspective, we often don’t see the full picture. In this short video, Brenen and Morgan Beeler share a simple way to develop a more clear understanding. Doing this one thing can help us make better decisions with less conflict.