LonelinessSample

Introduction- WHY DO I FEEL SUCH PROFOUND LONELINESS?

The story of human loneliness has its roots in the character of God and God’s purpose in creating us.

The roots of our present-day experience of loneliness are all found right here. We were made in the likeness of a relational, communicating, and triune God. His social nature is hardwired into our nature. We were designed for relational fulfillment vertically with God and horizontally with other humans. Like God, these relationships are fulfilling by design to the extent that they are harmonious. God’s threeness is the paradigm for our social needs, and His oneness is the paradigm for human relationships marked by love and peace.

You know, like the old song says: “you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.” Loneliness is first theological before it is existential. Loneliness isn’t the opposite of relational fulfillment. It is the absence of it. Loneliness is an experiential void and vacuum. Its pain is a backhanded compliment to the pleasure of what God originally designed.

#1 Embrace God’s Purpose for Your Loneliness

(Matthew 11:28)

Loneliness is part of the inner architecture of our image-bearing. It acts like sensors in our car to tell us when something is missing—oil in the engine or air in the tires. What do you do when the check engine oil light comes on? Ignore it? One of my college-aged sisters once called my dad and said, My car isn’t running anymore. I’m stuck on the highway. My dad’s whole career was as an engineer for John Deere. But his daughter never picked up that when the check engine oil light goes on, it’s telling you something needs to be done.

For many people, that loneliness sensor has been flashing, and they keep driving. Loneliness isn’t a sin; it’s a sensor. In this way, it is a friend, like a check engine oil light is a friend if we don’t ignore it but use it to make healthy adjustments in our lives.

Loneliness is like hunger, thirst, or even our sex drive. God placed these longings in us to move us toward the things He graciously provided for our flourishing. None of these are exclusively Christian. Loneliness is part of God’s common grace. When we are hungry, we work on getting food. When we are thirsty, we seek water. The discomfort spurs action and change.

Loneliness pain acts like rumble strips along the road. I like to drive those occasionally to annoy my family, but when you hear that brrrr, what do you think? I’m off the road. I’d better course correct. When you feel lonely, think brrrr. I need a course correction in my life.

Loneliness indicates some level of unfulfilled desires in life. Loneliness will bless our lives only if loneliness remains loneliness. Once loneliness weaponizes, it turns predatory and destructive. How do we de-escalate obsessive loneliness? Listen to our Savior’s tender invitation: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Since knowing Jesus is the one true ultimate satisfaction for our souls, His care for our laden and lonely hearts tempers our desperation.

I am convinced this is a primary purpose for loneliness, to keep turning our souls toward God.