Starting Fresh in Dating: Renewing Communication for the New YearSample

Day 2: Empathetic Listening

Have you ever felt truly heard? Not just someone nodding along or waiting for their turn to talk, but someone actually taking the time to really understand you. It’s a powerful feeling, isn’t it? Now, think about your dating life. Are you offering that same gift — because it truly is a gift — to your partner or people you meet on dates?

Empathetic listening is about more than just hearing the words someone says. It’s about stepping into their shoes and seeking to understand their feelings, thoughts, and experiences. It’s not always easy; in fact, it takes a lot of intention. But when you listen with empathy, you’re showing love in action. You’re saying, “What’s on your heart matters to me.”

Empathy starts with being present. This means putting distractions away — yes, that includes your phone! When your partner or date is sharing something with you, their words deserve your full attention. Make eye contact. Nod to show you’re engaged. These small steps create a space where they feel valued and understood.

It also means listening to understand, not just to respond. It’s so tempting to jump in with advice or defend your perspective. But empathetic listening asks you to pause and focus on what they’re saying — not what you want to say next. For example, when they’re sharing about a tough day, instead of replying, “Well, here’s what you should do…” try something like, “That sounds really hard. How can I support you?”

Empathy also involves reflecting on what you’ve heard. This might sound like, “If I’m hearing you correctly, you’re feeling overwhelmed because of the pressure at work, right?” By reflecting back, you’re showing that you’re not only listening but that you care enough to make sure you truly understand.

And remember, listening empathetically doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything. It’s okay to have your own perspective, but validation is key. Saying, “I see why you would feel that way,” shows you believe their feelings are valid, even if they differ from yours.

Luke 6:31 reminds us to treat others how we’d want to be treated, and isn’t feeling heard one of the deepest desires of all our hearts? When you take time to listen empathetically, you’re showing care and love in a way that honors God — whether you’re investing in your partner or building a meaningful connection with someone you’re getting to know.