The New Loneliness: Nurturing Connection When You Feel IsolatedSample

Day 1: Understanding the New Loneliness

Are you feeling lonelier these days than you used to? Experiencing that unexplainable ache you can’t seem to get rid of? Perhaps you’re spending more time with your phone than with people, and you don’t want to think about how that might’ve happened. Maybe you used to feel closer to God and some of your friends and family than you do today, and you don’t know how to reverse that. You could be feeling on the outside of popular opinion or wondering if you have a place or voice in today’s culture or even in your own family. Or, perhaps you wish you had a church or were more connected at the one you attend.

You’re not the only one feeling lonelier than ever. Loneliness has always been a struggle for many of us and continues to be. But in recent decades, the causes of loneliness have multiplied. A lot has shifted in the world around us, and there is a new loneliness afloat, making the problem more pervasive than ever. In addition to living in an increasingly high-tech and screen-focused society, we’ve been impacted by the forced isolation from the COVID-19 pandemic lockdowns that persisted for nearly two years all around us. The lockdowns pushed our culture’s reliance on tech and screens even more. Video conferencing alone has forever changed the way many of us operate—at work, in schools, at church, and in our homes.

While the pandemic is now behind us, our increased reliance upon AI, high tech, and screens isn’t. And the habits formulated over an extended time of isolation and caution have led us into a new and different normal—one with less human interaction and far less human touch. Without necessarily intending to do so, we’ve all become more acclimated to new habits and new ways of going about life. And this has left us consulting Google more than God, interacting with our devices more than with people, and—as a result—feeling lonelier than ever.

A Healthy Crisis of Loneliness

In mid-2023, the U.S. Surgeon General issued a health alert that confirmed there is an “epidemic of loneliness”—a health risk of isolation (which includes spending more time with screens than people), and a failure to connect deeply with others through friendships and risk of intimacy—that is now increasing your chance of dementia by 50 percent and your chance of premature death by more than 60 percent. It is actually unhealthy to be lonely today—mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and now physically, regardless of your age. According to the Surgeon General, the long-term health risks of loneliness are equivalent to the danger of smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day!*

The convenience of online everything has contributed to this loneliness, making it possible for you and me to not leave our home for days. Virtual meetings—which have become increasingly more convenient—have made us more comfortable sitting in front of a screen than interacting with people face to face. Few people have time to talk instead of text. We tend to stick to the work at hand, refrain from speaking, opening up, or even starting a conversation. We can even tend to avoid eye contact, and most of us don’t even realize it. The result? Fewer conversations. Even less transparency. Next to zero relationships. Loneliness.

While tech in and of itself isn’t bad, an unhealthy reliance on it that replaces human touch cannot help but impact us.

But friend, you don’t have to be a victim of what is happening in our culture. You don’t have to be another loneliness, anxiety, or depression statistic that is worsening daily. You can rise above this by knowing Who is with you, Who is for you, and why you are here.

Your Path to Peace and Connection

God is with you. Scripture makes it very clear that when you are trusting in Christ Jesus for your salvation that you are never alone. Hebrews 13:5 tells us “for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever abandon you” (NASB).

God is for you. Romans 8:31 tells us God is for us, not against us. That means He is ever extending grace toward you, forgiving you, enabling you to accomplish much by His power working through you (Ephesians 3:20).

God has a reason why you’re here. When you reconnect—or start to really connect—with God, you’ll find your value in Him, as well as the priority He set for your life—the one thing you’re all about—to love Him with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and to love others as yourself (Matthew 22:37-39).

When you better understand who you are, as well as Who is with you, Who is for you, and why you are here on this earth, you will be more equipped to resolve whatever is causing your feelings of loneliness.

Read Matthew 22:37-39. What does God expect our top two priorities in life to be?

How can you prioritize your relationship with God and with one other person today?

* More information can be found at the end of Day 7.