Should Expectations Align?

My wife and I experienced the loss of a daughter in May of 2020 and I know from experience it can be difficult to maintain a faith filled walk when our expectations do not align with the reality experienced.

Still to this day there are moments when the questions of why outpace the assurance that our daughter is in a better place. Reflecting on that pivotal moment of life has taken me all over the place with emotions and perhaps a useful consideration to examine is simply this, “should our expectations align with God’s or not”.

Asking the question in that manner forces us into uncomfortable positions that many, including me, have fought since creation - shouldn’t we know more, or at least as much, as God. Going all the way back to the garden with Adam and Eve we get a first hand glimpse that the allure of knowledge was too much for man to succumb to. If we go to the moment before the bite was taken from the fruit we can clearly see the perfect design that God had created. Up until that moment the alignment of His perfect and pleasing will and man’s were in harmony.

It strikes me that Adam and Eve made an assumption that if they had knowledge they would be equal to God’s understanding and plan for the universe. I suspect that God is teaching us a different lesson which is that the tree of knowledge is insufficient for a well lived life but the ability to be in relationship with God is the basis of the divine design He had in mind from the beginning of creation. Perhaps the question of good and evil is more confusing to that design than it is helpful.

It appears that not only did sin fracture the relationship we had with a loving God but it also introduced a mechanism that the evil one has been using ever since that moment - pride. Wherever pride takes control we are essentially telling God “I got this” or perhaps more accurately said “I don’t need you God”. While that may be more direct than we like to admit it is hard to refute the accuracy.

That underlying sense of pride and control are often the primary emotional drivers regarding our displeasure when expectations are out of alignment with God’s. While so much has changed since Adam and Eve, it is interesting that we are still wrestling with the same internal conflicts of thinking that our desires should be held in the highest regard at all times.

If we concede that our expectations often stem from pride and a desire for control, we must turn to scripture to be reminded that true peace comes from surrendering those expectations to Him alone. Isaiah captures the essence of why our plans often fall short compared to His divine purpose in chapter 55. When we acknowledge that as a salient truth, we can begin to release the weight of unmet expectations, trusting that His ways—though higher and sometimes mysterious—are always good. As we continue this journey of aligning our expectations with His, let us do so with humility, surrender, and the assurance that His purpose will always prevail.

Questions to Consider

1. How do you respond when God’s plan differs from your expectations?
2. What drives your expectations: pride, control, or trust in God’s will?