The Blacksmith’s Discipline: Honing Godly MenSample

The Tool of Brotherhood

The first two disciplines—prayer and Scripture—we might call private or personal disciplines. However, the next three disciplines—brotherhood, accountability, and ministry—usher the private into the public. There is no way to engage in these privately. Understanding the next discipline, brotherhood will help with this significantly.

It may sound strange, but brotherhood is far more challenging for men than it should be. Navigating the world of male spiritual relationships poses a challenge for many. Even believers may have few meaningful relationships with spiritual brothers. They walk the journey alone, which is a perilous path.

Christian men need to understand that male spiritual relationships are not just nice to have; they are necessary. Yet despite their essential nature, many men don’t pursue them. They are usually daunted by the discomfort of taking the initial steps. Here are four factors that make brotherhood daunting.

Factor one, men don’t trust men. There isn’t a man alive who hasn’t experienced hurt or harbored some hang-up that hindered his ability to trust certain other males. We’ve all been disappointed by fathers, friends, pastors, and leaders. Overcoming our hurts and hang-ups is possible only through the work of Jesus and the power of the indwelling Spirit, but it is accelerated with spiritual brothers.

Factor two, men prefer independence. Messages that we must be rugged, assertive, and independent men come at us in small sound bites from many sources. Messages encouraging this version of masculinity are everywhere, regardless of how toxic some proclaim men to be. In brotherly love, we discover the need for dependence on God with other brothers. In spiritual brotherhood, we encounter the honor we seek that cannot be known in independence. If you have practical needs, there is a brother who helps. If you are looking for spiritual support, brotherhood is the place.

Factor three, men are too busy. We are moving way too fast, and we know it. From middle-school boys to retired men, the speed of our lives is out of hand. But busyness is a choice. What if not giving up on spiritual brotherhood and leaning into it more would uncomplicate and even resolve the busyness of our lives?

Factor four, men fear spiritual relationships. The idea of being open, vulnerable, and transparent with other men is unfamiliar and intimidating territory for many men. Many of these inhibitions and fears stem from misconceptions about spiritual brotherhood. We have to get beyond our fears and live by faith, subjecting our lives to the sharpening that happens only in the company of other men.

Difficult or not, men need brothers. It’s a mandate, not an option. The key is to not give up, because spiritual brothers make us sharper in this life.

For Reflection: What initiative can you take today toward key male relationships that will cultivate spiritual brotherhood?

Prayer Starter: Father God, thank you for the spiritual brothers you have put into my life so I can walk with others who are also following you. Connect me with the support I need…