Men After AbortionSample

The Problem of Pain

Life is hard. Nobody escapes unscathed. We may feel like hapless victims of a sick twist of fate, as from a doctor’s diagnosis, or we may have made bad choices that boomeranged on us and left us in a bind. Either way, we all face pain. It may be guilt, grief, shame, or regret, but into each life, some rain must fall.

Men respond to pain in a number of ways. Men often hide it, pretend it’s not there, show anger to cover it up, or try to dull it with success or even substances. After an abortion, many men don’t know what to do with the pain they’ve experienced. It just lingers or builds up over time, preventing us from living a life filled with purpose and joy.

Scripture shows this clearly and amply. The result of Adam and Eve’s turning from God was the promise of pain. God’s intention isn’t for us to live a life marked by pain. However, it is a reality of living in a fallen world.

Job was blindsided by a series of catastrophes despite God’s insistence that Job “was blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil” (Job 1:1).

When it came time to lead the Israelites out of bondage in Egypt, God decided to avoid leading them through Philistine country (enemy territory), avoiding the threat of war, and chose instead to lead them through the wilderness (Ex 13:17-18). The desert! The desert offers no services, amenities, comforts, or conveniences. God avoided war and opted for the pain of scarcity.

In preparation for Jesus’ earthly ministry, Mark’s gospel tells us the Spirit “drove him out into the wilderness" (Mark 1:12).

Do you see a pattern?

We learn from the Bible that the Lord uses challenges in our life to help us grow! Why? As mentioned before, we learn from the Bible that while God doesn’t intend for the things that cause us pain, He can and does use those circumstances to show us His love for us and allow us to become more like Him.

Robert Wall expounds on C. S. Lewis’ work, The Problem of Pain:

"To wish for a life without pain is to wish for something less than God’s goodness. The root problem… lies with a faulty human perception both of pain’s redeeming value and of God’s love. For Lewis, pain is transformed only when it is perceived as a radical form of God’s love…. More than this, however, pain brings humankind (through humility, through feelings of dependency on something greater than the human condition) to the place where they are… less egotistical, less rebellious, and more willing to be loved by someone outside of themselves."

Simply stated, God purposely uses pain to perfect us. His will is to conform us to the image of his Son (Rom 8:29). Processing pain in a humble, dependent way makes us better men. Remember too that the same sun that hardens clay also melts butter. We must choose how we respond to pain.

Consider these words of encouragement:

"And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? 'My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.'” (Heb 12:5-6; Prov 3:11, 12)

Pain, whether caused by our actions or another person, is a reality of life. God can use our pain, even from an abortion, to bring meaning and express His love for us. We can’t change what we’ve done or what has been done to us, but we can choose how we respond to pain.