A Christian Parent's Guide to Navigating Youth SportsSample

The Strength of Gentleness in Youth Sports

The Bible dedicates eighty-nine chapters to Jesus’s embodied time on earth. From those chapters, we learn much about his life, teachings, ministry, and emotions. But Matthew 11 is the only place where Jesus specifically mentions his heart. Jesus says, "Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls" Matthew 11:29 ESV).

In his book, Gentle and Lowly, Dane Ortlund highlights the importance of what Jesus says. He notes that Jesus doesn’t say his heart is “bold” or “mighty” or “victorious”—all of which would be true. He says he is gentle and lowly. This revelation is more than comforting. It’s transformational. It’s also a helpful reminder for those of us involved in youth sports.

In youth sports, strength is often measured by speed, skill, or toughness. These external metrics become what’s celebrated and affirmed. After all, we want kids who are fast and strong, right? How many of us are posting on social media about how our young athlete was gentle and lowly at their most recent tournament? However, if Jesus describes himself that way—and we are called to look like him—how do we prioritize something like gentleness within the context of sports?

It’s important to understand that Jesus’s gentleness doesn’t mean he lacked courage or conviction. He flipped tables, rebuked Pharisees, and stared down death itself. Yet his strength was never expressed through harshness or shame. Instead, he met sinners, sufferers, and even doubters with tenderness and patience. As Ortlund says, “The posture most natural to Him is not a pointed finger but open arms.”

Contrast that with much of modern youth sports culture. Too often, when kids make mistakes on the field or court, they’re met with yelling, shame, and pressure—from coaches, teammates, and sadly, even parents. The result? Children begin to believe that their worth is tied to their performance. One bad game can make them feel like they’re failures—not just in sports, but in life.

Jesus offers a different path forward for all of us. He offers a yoke that’s easy and a burden that’s light. As parents, coaches, and mentors, we’re invited to walk that path with him by practicing gentleness in our own response to young athletes’ successes and failures.

The parable of the prodigal son from Luke 15 is a beautiful example of what this looks like. The father didn’t meet his returning son with punishment or shame (or even a list of what he could improve upon next time!), but with compassion and celebration. That’s the kind of heart God has for us—and the kind of heart we’re called to show to our children, especially when they fall short of athletic expectations.

Again, youth sports are not just a test of athletic ability. They are a training ground for discipleship, for parents and kids alike. In every loss, injury, or missed shot, we have the chance to model the grace and gentleness of Jesus, helping our children learn that their value comes not from what they do, but from whose they are.

Action Steps:

Gentleness doesn’t ignore mistakes. It simply refuses to define kids by them. When we lead with gentleness, we:

1. Refrain from reacting in anger or embarrassment.
2. Remind our kids that their identity is not in their performance, but in Christ.
3. Reframe failure as an opportunity to grow, not a verdict on their worth.
4. Redeem hard moments by responding the way Jesus would—restoring, not shaming.

Prayer:

Jesus, thank you for showing us what true gentleness looks like. Help me to lead with grace, especially when life gets hard. Teach me to speak life over the children you’ve entrusted to me—not shame. Make my heart like yours: gentle, lowly, and full of love. Amen.