“Gratitude Cancels the Hard”

Myth: If I’m grateful, I shouldn’t still feel frustrated.

Truth: Gratitude and grief can hold hands.

Somewhere along the way, we (including myself here) started believing that gratitude and struggle are mutually exclusive. Like if we acknowledge something is hard, we’re being ungrateful or if we’re truly thankful, we shouldn’t still ache.

But if we look at this biblically, that’s never how God asked us to live.

There’s something beautiful in the tension here. If we had everything we need and were always comfortable, would we feel the daily need for a Comforter? Perhaps not. And if we live in a constant “I want more,” will we ever fully experience the gifts and tangible deposits God has given us today? Perhaps not.

The tension is needed for our heart, soul, and body to be reminded that (1) this is not our home and that’s why our heart aches for more and (2) God is a giver of good gifts if we keep our eyes open to see them.

David, a man after God’s own heart, was constantly swinging between praise and pain, and that’s what makes the Psalms so beautiful to me. In Psalm 13, he starts with, “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?” and ends with “I will sing the Lord’s praises, for he has been good to me” (verses 1, 6, niv). It’s not one or the other. It’s both, and. Not either, or.

Jesus Himself, the very picture of perfect obedience, wept at Lazarus’s tomb even though He knew resurrection was coming (see John 11:35). His gratitude for God’s glory didn’t cancel out His empathy for human pain.

Gratitude is not a Band-Aid for heartbreak. It’s not a denial of hardship. It’s the soul’s way of holding both truth and trust, saying, “This hurts, and God is still good.” That’s the holy grit and defiant gratitude that breeds intimacy with our heavenly Father.

You’re allowed to cry and give thanks. You’re allowed to long for something more and praise Him for what already is. You’re allowed to sit in the ache and still whisper, “I know You’re here.”

Your wholeness and healing aren’t found in pretending everything’s okay; they’re found in knowing that even in your not okay, God draws near and He’s big enough to hold both your joy and your sorrow without asking you to pick one.

A few things to ponder:

• Is there something you’ve been afraid to grieve because you feel like it might make you seem ungrateful?
• Where have you experienced both joy and pain at the same time?
• Talk to God honestly: “I’m thankful for ____. And it still hurts that ____.”