Freedom Through ForgivenessSample

Forgiveness Is Not Blame

Blame is one of the most useless mindsets in existence. It gets nothing done. Consider what happened to the first two people ever created.

Adam blamed Eve,

Eve blamed the serpent,

The serpent blamed the devil,

The devil blamed God,

And God just shook His head at the whole thing.

When driving, you need to stay in the middle of the road. If you go too far to the left or the right, you will end up in a ditch and get stuck. There are two ditches one can fall into when it comes to blame.

Some respond to an offense by blaming the other person or blaming themselves. Both are ditches in life's journey that you need to avoid.

Blame will only keep you stuck in the same place that you are trying to move out of. Someone may have pushed you into the hole that you are in right now, but it’s on you to get out of it. The person who pushed you feels no obligation to help you get out of it. I know it’s not fair, but the truth isn’t always fair.

When you blame someone else, you disconnect yourself from the power YOU have to overcome the situation.

Blame fuels confusion, strife, and anger. Blame, simply put, is counterproductive.

People need to take responsibility for their actions, but you can’t force someone to do that. Admitting to mistakes comes from the heart. It won’t come because of you blaming them, even though it may be their fault. When you blame someone, you give them more power over you.

When it comes to abuse, in most instances, the abuser will not admit to what they did. Even if they agree that it happened, many will blame the victim for some of the craziest reasons you have ever heard. It is easy and correct to blame the abuser, but your power to heal comes from owning where you are now and doing what you must do to move forward.

What they did was wrong, and it’s ok to acknowledge that. You need to, and it’s healthy to do so. And now that you acknowledged it, you can move past blame and go towards healing.

Don’t Blame Yourself

On the side of the ditch are people who choose to blame themselves for what happened to them. This is not healthy either. People who blame themselves tend to get stuck in “well, maybe I could have done this, or I shouldn’t have done that. If I didn’t provoke them, they probably wouldn’t have reacted that way.” None of these statements is true or healthy. You did not deserve it.

Some people tend to take all the blame on themselves, and this is not good. This is usually due to low self-esteem. They don't know who they are in Christ. They don't see themselves as valuable, so they really believe that they can do nothing right, so somehow, it must be their fault.

Sometimes You Have No Fault at All

There are cases and instances where both parties are to blame, but there are some cases where you are truly not to blame. In abuse cases, whether it be sexual or physical abuse, YOU ARE NEVER to blame.

We are all responsible for our actions. Yes, the enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy, but he can't force anyone to do his bidding. The devil needs a willing participant.

If anyone has ever told you that it was your fault that you were abused as a child or an adult, know today that it's simply not true. Do not take on the burden of blame and shame for someone else's lack of self-control.