From Belinda Clarke

Truth and Love

SPEAK UP FOR TRUTH IN LOVE

A few years ago, when one of my kids was about three years old, I served them a bowl of lentil curry. They were not at all impressed with it and strongly protested. Even so, as everyone loves saying grace at our place, they eagerly and earnestly prayed, “Thank you, Jesus, for the yucky dinner, Amen.” It made us laugh and is still quoted from time to time.

It was funny, because sure, it was brutally honest, but there was also no malice in it. It was cute. The way we receive truth makes a difference in how we receive it. If truth is told in love, it is a whole lot more palatable than when we receive it without love. Truth without love becomes a whole lot more difficult to hear. I can think of times where I’ve been told the truth without love, and I’ve not heard truth at all – I’ve only heard the criticism behind it. For example, when feedback or advice comes across as harsh or judgmental, it’s hard to receive the helpful part of it. But when feedback is given in love, it can be a gift.

This is what Paul was talking about in Ephesians 4:15 (NLT): “Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.”

The Ephesians were a pretty diverse group, and Paul was urging them to grow in spiritual maturity and unity. There were different ideas about what following Jesus should look like, and some wild doctrines floating around the church. Paul was telling them that spiritual maturity means not digging their heads in the sand but responding in love to promote unity and to continue building the body of Christ.

As we mature and become more like Jesus, we learn to courageously tell the truth in love – not just about whether or not we like lentils – but in teaching and talking about what it means to be a disciple of Jesus. When we hear something that sounds off – a bit of out-there theology or a view that doesn’t sit right – we’re called to respond with respect and love. It’s not always easy, especially when we care deeply about truth. And frankly, some things don’t seem to be deserving of respect. But if we’re speaking truth about the God of love, it has to be from a place of love. When our words are rooted in love, they point people towards Jesus.

When we ask God for wisdom to discern when to courageously speak the truth in love – perhaps that means a difficult conversation – we are maturing spiritually, working towards unity and building up the body of Christ.

Reflection

• Can you think of a ‘truth delivered in love’ moment in your life? How did you receive it?
• Where might you be avoiding speaking the truth in love because it feels uncomfortable or risky? What could speaking the truth in love and pointing to Jesus look like in this situation?

Prayer

God, thank you for Jesus, the personification of Truth and Love. I want to grow in every way more and more like him. I’m sorry for the times I’ve remained silent when I should have spoken up, and the times I spoke truth but left love out of it. Give me wisdom and courage to speak the truth in love when you’re calling me to do so. In Jesus’ name, Amen.