From Kerryn Coombes

Take Up Your Cross

THE TENSION BETWEEN LIGHT AND DARKNESS

A while ago now, I was an apprentice hairdresser. I spent time learning about hair cutting, colour theory and chemistry. But as I grew in that knowledge, I had to put what I learnt into practice.

At first, I practised on mannequin heads, then on real people. It was scary! I had the responsibility of people’s appearance in my hands.

I had to choose to activate my learning because I am a hairdresser, if I don't do hair? That’s the point of an apprenticeship. Shadowing a senior stylist, watching what they do, asking questions, and gaining the knowledge needed to one day have my own clients.

Apprenticeship is like discipleship in that it not only requires learning but also doing. When I think of discipleship, my mind turns to Jesus and his disciples, and his invitation for us to follow him today.

In Luke 14:27 (NLT), Jesus addresses the large crowd of followers. He lays out what it really means to be a disciple. He says, “And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.”

Doesn’t it sting a bit when Jesus tells it plainly? This verse is uncomfortable. Is that really what it takes to be his disciple? Can my Lord and Saviour, who loves me with an everlasting love, really be asking me to deny myself and step into suffering?

Back in Jesus’ day, carrying your cross led to certain humiliation and death. His request was unthinkable.

What was life on Earth like for Jesus? Before he endured the horrific cross-carrying road to death, Jesus was already suffering the excruciating tension of being fully God and fully man. No inner struggle could run deeper than this one – where a holy God chose to come to Earth and co-exist with fallen humanity.

Often when we think of ‘cross bearing’, the suffering that Christ asks of us, we assume it’s earthly suffering, e.g. sickness – physical and emotional, and other difficulties and hardships. But what if, as we draw closer to Jesus, we experience some of that same tension he experienced when he was on Earth? What if ‘suffering’ involves the tension between light and darkness? The spiritual struggle in the heavenlies, between good and evil, flesh and Spirit? The contradiction of having the Holy Spirit living in us, as well as the nagging of the enemy.

I think the more we surrender to Christ and allow the Spirit to work through us, the stronger the tension gets. We grow a holy discontentment, a stronger glimpse – with kingdom eyes – of our neighbourhood, who need God’s love. Our hearts break for what breaks the heart of God.

Jesus says we must follow him with every part of ourselves. We don’t just sit with the knowledge of him, but we activate that knowledge: combining our faith with good works. Compelled to wear the cost of discipleship, we no longer sit satisfied to just know that Jesus is Lord; we must do something about it.

The cost, the suffering, pales in comparison to an eternal lifetime spent with our Lord and Saviour. We might prefer the glory without the suffering, but Jesus says that the suffering precedes the glory, and it is eternally worth it.

Reflection

• What is Jesus asking you to surrender to him today? What might be holding you back?
• Ask Jesus to reveal where he wants you to go. Where can you be set apart, go against the grain, see with his eyes?
• Write down some Scriptures that bring you comfort when your cross feels heavy. Revisit them often as a reminder that Jesus goes before you every step of the way.

Prayer

Lord God, what a privilege it is that you invite me to be your disciple. I pray that as I continue to grow closer to you through my learning, you will sustain me in my doing. Help me to listen to your voice, especially in times of suffering, that I might come to understand more fully who I am in you. Help me to activate my faith in my community for your kingdom. In Jesus’ name, Amen.