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UNCOMMEN: Surviving Divorce

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Scripture Reference: 

Submit yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you when the time is come. Cast all your care upon him, for he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7

 

Lead by Submission

Prayer was changing me. What do you suppose was my next step to becoming a great man? (BTW: I’m not claiming I am great - just striving) One word: submission. 

You probably won’t find the word submission in a lot of leadership books. You won’t find it applied to men in a lot of marriage books (unless they are really good!). Most of your friends probably won’t think to give you this advice. It goes against everything our male counterparts tell us is manly. Wrestlers and MMA fighters submit losers. Submission sounds like "loser" to many. Not to God. 

Submission is a very simple concept. In sports, it means to be forcibly subdued or pinned to the point where you ‘tap out.’ In life relationship with God, it means to willfully put ourselves under Him and anyone else who will lead us to Him. It’s what I discovered I needed to do. I discovered it by asking the question, ‘How did Jesus express His manhood?’ The answer was that He submitted everything He was and did to the Father. I needed to copy Him. Here’s what it looked like, and still looks like, for me. I found five things I needed to submit to. 

I submitted to other men. I found godly men who would hold me accountable. Not ‘yes’ men who told me how sorry they were or how wonderful I was when I made a small step. I found brutally honest men who kicked me in the butt and showed me how nasty I was. ‘Yes, men’ are easy to find but provide nothing meaningful. Honorable men who have character enough to tell you straight are rare. Find them. 

I submitted to my children. My children where young adults and teenagers. I don’t mean I made them the head of the house. I mean I asked them to tell me when I was out of line, angry, rude, not likable, prideful, not like Jesus. They did, sometimes painfully, but I learned an amazing number of great lessons from them. 

I submitted to the Bible. I taught the Bible for nearly twenty-five years with my words but found out my life was far from what I said I believed. I was always reading to find what was ‘right’ - not what was ‘good.’ I traded logic for love. I looked for black and white and couldn’t see any grey. That all changed. I started looking for how Jesus treated people. How He stuck to His calling regardless how people treated Him. How He loved, how He lived, how He felt. I started hearing His heart. 

Submission like this takes humility and courage, and that comes through prayer. Keep praying as you add these layers of submission. There are two more we’ll cover next post. 

Uncommen Challenge: Which of these three things do you need to add first? Don’t have godly accountable men - find them - ask God to lead you to them. Don’t have grown children - find family members or others who can give you insight. Don’t know where to start in the Bible - who cares - just start. God will faithfully lead you. Maybe start with some of the stories of great men in the Old Testament - Moses is a good one. Just start this week - no more procrastinating!

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UNCOMMEN: Surviving Divorce

The heartbreak, the lost love, the grief and the shame that comes with unwanted divorce doesn’t have to stay forever. You don’t need to go through this alone. In this study, we’ll learn how we can lean heavily on God’s strength despite life’s most troubling events.

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