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Are you a competitive person? 

There is always a difference between when you’re having a fun game and when that fun game turns into competition. As soon as there's a prize or a reason to try, we get better, we put more effort in, we realize our weaknesses and try to improve them!

If you look at your life, what do you look at improving? Being smarter, fitter, fashionable, holy, taller, faster—the list could go on!

Being the best will only take you so far. Life is not about what you do; it's about who you are. You could say it another way, "You are your character, not your competence." 

By refining our character, we transform more into Jesus than who we were before. That's how we can start to remove the flaws that hold us back and stop us from moving forward. 

So how do we improve our character? We need to look at what needs improving, except it's hard to look inward sometimes. It's easy to see the flaws in, say, your friend's character: Maybe they eat too loud, never stop talking, always late, can't sing (but think they should). I'm sure the list could go on. 

Jesus once said: "Don't point out the speck in your brother’s eye when you have a log in your own." This could be seen as a story about pride or arrogance, but I think Jesus is telling us that we need to have friends to help us see the logs or specks in our own eyes. Rather than pointing out faults in others, we should be asking our friends to inspect our own eyes so we can grow and be better.

Here are three tips in asking our friends for help:

1. Accountability – Have a good group of friends around you who can tell you the truth AND help you improve on it. We don't just want someone to point out our flaws. We want great, Godly people to walk alongside us just as Jesus did.

2. Focus on the specks – The large character flaws might be obvious, but it's the tiny specks we need to look out for. These are the small character flaws that, if left unchecked, could become something bigger later. A great way to start to identify them is to ask yourself, "What is the gap between my public and private life?" What do I do at youth on a Friday and school on a Tuesday that is different?

3. Close the gap! – Our talk needs to match our walk. I Corinthians 10:5 says, "Take captive every thought and submit it to God." You need to be honest about which is the real you. If life is struggle street, be honest about it. If you feel like you're winning at life, celebrate! Be open about it and look around at who you could help.

Remember, God has called you to make a difference in this world. No tiny flaws can stop that.