Relinquishing the Questions

My wife, Merryn, and I tried for more than ten years to have a child, and our relationship with God suffered as a result. We had prayed together and individually for years, only to face disappointment and prolonged pain. We did not understand why God seemed to hold out on us when we wanted something so simple, so natural to human existence. It reminded us of how our niece, when she was two years old, used to tell her mother, “You’re ruining me!” when she didn’t get what she wanted. In a way, we felt God had ruined us too.

Little did we know that expressing this frustration aloud meant a breakthrough was happening. There is a time to express our disappointment to God at His seeming lack of action in our situations. The Psalms repeatedly express such feelings (Psalm 13:1, for example), as do prophets like Jeremiah (Jeremiah 20:7). But like Job, there also comes a time to relinquish our questions to God, trusting His character when He doesn’t give us answers (Job 42:1–3).

“I don’t understand why God hasn’t given us a child,” Merryn said to me one day. “Perhaps I never will. But I know Him, and I know He wouldn’t have meant this for evil.” For just as there’s a time to question, so there’s a time to trust—allowing our Why not? to become a What now? in our relationship with God.

Reflect: What might faith look like for you if answers to your “why” questions don't come? How can you turn your Why not? question to God into a What now? prayer today?

Pray: Dear God, I may never understand your plan for me this side of heaven; but I believe in Your goodness and love toward me. Grant me peace and acceptance when I do not understand the “whys” of what I’m going through. I may not know “why” but I do know You, and will walk forward today confidently because of who You are. Amen.