Living With a Strong-Willed Childنموونە

Day 4: Parenting With Hope

When parents bring one of these tough youngsters into the world, they need to recognize that while raising that child may be difficult for a time, it is worth their effort to do the job right. Their attitude should be, "The Lord gave me this challenging child for a purpose. He wants me to mold and shape this youngster and prepare him or her for a life of service to Him. And I'm up to the task. I'm going to make it with the Lord's help." That's the healthy way of looking at parenting when the pressure is on.

There is a tendency, I think, for parents of strong-willed children to feel cheated and oppressed because other moms and dads seem to have smooth sailing with their children, whereas they are at war every day of the week. But if they can perceive their task as a God-given assignment and believe that He's going to help them to fulfill it, then the frustrations become more manageable.

Let me give you one other word of encouragement. Most strong-willed children tend to come around when they get through adolescence. Don't be too quick as a parent to brand yourself as a failure. Kids do grow up, and you will find out later that the values and principles that you tried so hard to instill were actually going inside and sticking. It may be that your difficult children will become your best friends if . . . if you persevere. So, when your child's behavior is saying "I hate you" in every way possible, hang in there. Keep your courage. Don't panic. Better days are coming.

Just between you and God:

How can you develop and maintain a healthy attitude while parenting your strong-willed child? Start by asking the Lord to change the way you think about your role as a mom or dad, and ask Him to make you into the leader He wants you to be. Then trust Him to work in your heart and give you hope for the future.

Pray for your little one's attitude and for his or her future. Ask the Lord for the biblical principles you teach in your home to take root in your son or daughter's heart and form that child into a responsible, God-fearing adult.

Pray these words:

Heavenly Father, help me to be patient with (insert your child's name) and encourage me as I strive to train him (or her) into a mature adult who knows and loves You. Grant me wisdom as I teach the principles in your Word, and enable me to see spiritual growth in his (or her) heart. Amen.

From Dr. James Dobson's book, The New Strong-Willed Child

Bonus Content: Listen to the Dr. Dobson Minute, "More About Children's Temperaments."