Parenting With Grace Sample

Grace and Discipline

Another area where many parents struggle is disciplining their children. While it may appear that grace and discipline are in conflict, and that grace might mean not giving discipline when it is warranted, the opposite is true. Parents who withhold discipline from their children don’t teach them grace, but license.

Our parental blueprint comes from our heavenly Father who disciplines all who He loves (Hebrews 12:5–11). Dave Anderson writes:

We are in a family. God is our Father. A good father motivates his children positively and negatively. To motivate his child to do well, the father might offer certain rewards, even if it is just the reward of praise and approval. On the other hand, it helps the child to know there will be negative consequences should he or she choose to misbehave.

In a day when parental discipline is frowned upon by many, parents need to heed what God says. The way God parented His chosen people, the nation of Israel in the Old Testament, exhibits patience, grace, and forgiveness, yet also discipline that was often harsh. But always, within His discipline, there was mercy for them. God did not act out of vindictive rage. When they rebelled in their unbelief, God kept them in the wilderness for 40 years. Yet even in this we see His grace and mercy. The wilderness was the classroom where God taught them to trust in Him. It prepared them for the challenges they would face in the conquest of the Promised Land. They learned to trust and obey. Loving parents show grace to their children by patiently disciplining them and withholding freedom until the child has learned to trust and obey them. At the same time, they will learn to trust and obey the Lord.

The author of Hebrews ends his section on God’s discipline by saying that discipline is not enjoyable; it is painful, but its resultwill be a peaceful harvest of right living (Hebrews 12:11). Our children need to be disciplined often, and there is not better evidence of your love for them than taking the time to do it. Their future would be quite dim if you don’t.

Keep the end goal in view. Your children may not express gratitude when you discipline them, but disciplining with love is part of parenting with grace.

*Dave Anderson,Saving the Saved: An Exposition of 1 Peter(Grace Theology Press, 2020), 72.