If I Don't Laugh, I'll Cry by Molly StillmanSample

When the World Lets Us Down

When my mom got sick, I was too young to have the tools to process what I was seeing. The full, grim reality of her situation was hidden from me, so my mind was left to its own devices. In essence, I was merely seeing the outlines on a coloring page, and my mind filled in the rest with a combination of truth and untruth. I colored the apple red, but I colored the leaves on the trees hot pink.

I was uncomfortable, so my idol became comfort—friendships, parental praise, and being a rock star in a Christian worship band called Doubting Thomas. I even tried to find comfort in my room in our house . . . I’d rearrange my furniture or move rooms whenever I was tired of things the way they were. Once again, it was something I could “control.”

And when the earthly search for comfort failed me, I blamed the world. “Well, my mom is sick and life sucks right now, so let’s throw me a pity party.” When she died, it only got worse. The world was out to get me, and I was destined for a life of pain and suffering.

My mom used to say to me all the time that maturity is knowing that life isn’t fair and learning to live with that. But it is also understanding that on this side of heaven, we will never understand why some things happen or don’t happen. The truth is, why does it matter? My mom spent years after her service as a nurse in Vietnam trying to figure out the why. I spent years after Mom died trying to figure out the why. But why can be a useless question. The better question is: what am I going to do now, and how can it make me a better person?

It can be tempting to blame the world when the things we place false hope in leave us empty and hurting. When we do, we can take comfort in one of the many good reminders and promises that Jesus spoke to His disciples: “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

Lord Jesus, I can’t thank You enough for the price You paid to overcome the world, and I embrace that promise afresh for the challenges I face today. Amen.