When They Won't Be Home for Christmas (Holiday Grief)Sample

Day 3: What to Do When God Feels Like a Betrayal, Not a Comfort

Here's the thing nobody says out loud in church: sometimes God doesn't just feel absent—He feels like the problem. You prayed. You believed. You had faith. And your loved one died anyway.

Now people tell you to trust God's plan, and you want to scream. What plan includes this much pain? They tell you God is good, and you think, "Then why does goodness feel like cruelty?" They tell you God answers prayers, and you remember every unanswered prayer you cried at 3 AM.

The holidays make this worse. Christmas sermons about God's love, nativity scenes of God protecting baby Jesus, carols about God's faithfulness—it all feels like evidence against Him. Where was this protective God when your person was dying?

Here's what I want you to hear: this isn't lack of faith. This is honest faith. This is Job-level faith—the kind that says "Though you slay me, I'll still trust you" but then adds "and I'm going to argue with you about it." This is Psalm 22 faith—the kind Jesus prayed from the cross.

God can handle your anger. He can handle your sense of betrayal. He can handle you showing up to Christmas Eve service feeling nothing but rage that this is how He runs the universe. Your doubt doesn't scare Him. Your accusations don't diminish Him.

You know what actually damages faith? Pretending you're not angry when you are. Performing gratitude you don't feel. Forcing yourself to worship with words that feel like lies in your mouth right now.

God doesn't need your performance. He wants your honesty. Even if your honesty is "I'm furious at You, and I don't understand You, and I'm not sure I trust You anymore."

That's still relationship. That's still faith. That's still showing up.

Talk to God

God, I'm angry at You. Really angry. I prayed and believed, and it didn't matter. They died anyway. People keep telling me to trust Your plan, but Your plan feels cruel. I don't understand You. I'm not even sure I like You right now. But I'm still here. I'm still talking to You. I don't know if that's faith or just habit, but it's what I've got. Don't let me go. Amen.

Try This Today

Write God a brutally honest letter. Tell Him everything you're actually feeling—not what you think you should feel. Use whatever language comes naturally, even if it's angry or profane. This is between you and God. He already knows what you're thinking. Say it out loud.