Encouragement - What, How, Why & WhoExemplo

Encouragement is other-focussed

When David's son Absalom rebelled against his father and tried to steal the throne, it split the kingdom and turned into a devastating civil war with terrible losses on both sides. Ultimately Absalom was killed.

David grieved deeply for his son. This grief eclipsed all else, and as the restored and vindicated king, David did not recognise the price that his people had paid. Had it not been for the loyalty and love of his faithful supporters, he would not have come through this devastating setback.

Not only had Israel been through a devastating civil war, but the violence and damage was caused not by an external party, but by David's son Absalom. David's failed parenting had cost the nation severely and it is almost as though his grief has become a self-indulgent out-pouring of regret and failure.  

The effect is described in v.3 of our reading: "The men stole into the city that day as men steal in who are ashamed when they flee from battle."

But David is the king - and Joab, his commander-in-chief, confronts him.
He urges David to be other-focussed.
Sometimes leadership comes at great cost.
In those moments, we have to shelve personal pain and place the needs of those who have served and stood with us above our own struggles.
There will come a time when we do our own grieving and picking up of pieces, but we can never allow ourselves to become self-indulgent.

When we've been through a storm it is often tempting for us to draw to one side and "lick our wounds". It is vitally important for us to recognise that there have been people who have stood with us. It is our task not only to thank and appreciate them, but to encourage them.