How Adversity Can Reveal Your Identity And Release Your Best Gifts Into The WorldExemplo

Focus Your Future on What Matters Most

One day during our pilgrimage DJ and I walked in view of Dunstanburgh Castle, a giant fourteenth-century fort now in ruins. Built by Thomas, Earl of Lancaster, it would’ve been quite the sight in its day, with large artificial lakes reflecting its soaring towers. But with no need for a castle in the area, it seems its real purpose was to display Thomas’s wealth to the world. Seven centuries later, the castle keeps Thomas’s name alive. But this legacy is mixed. When we arrived at Dunstanburgh Castle’s gates we found a sign out front remembering Thomas as ‘an arrogant and unpopular’ man.

When talking about our ‘calling’ in life it’s easy to go straight to the grand things we’d like to achieve—the books we’d like to write, the businesses we’d like to start, the ‘castles’ we’d like to build. But Thomas’s story asks us to consider a more significant question: when we pass from this earth, how will we have really impacted others?

On the pilgrimage this got DJ and me reflecting about our funerals. What kinds of things would mourners recall of us, we wondered? It was a telling exercise because the more we discussed it, the less we imagined people recalling the universities we attended, degrees we earned, any awards we received, or much of what we typically judge our lives by. Instead, we imagined those gathered recalling the laughs, adventures, and trials we’d shared—memories of the kind of people we became.

What qualities would be recalled, we asked next. Would we be remembered as kind, compassionate, generous, courageous? That we were reconcilers, truth-tellers, peace-makers? Would Merryn be able to say that I loved her well? Would nephews and nieces remember a playful uncle? Would colleagues farewell someone who cared for them, not just success? As Thomas’s life shows, few tears will fall for a builder of castles alone.

Pause for Reflection

Imagine your own funeral. Based on who you are today, what kind of person are people saying you were? 

Is there anything you’d rather they said instead? 

Such reflection leads to another question, one explored in the video above, which can focus our lives on what matters most: What will I regret not doing, or at least attempting, before I die? I’ve discovered that when given time, this question is like a sea diver searching for treasure. Starting on the surface it elicits answers about career projects and other dreams—good ideas worth writing down. But the longer it’s pondered the deeper the question goes, bringing up treasures about friends, family, and how we’d really like to help people.

Pause Again

What would you regret not doing, or at least attempting, before you die?

Today’s Readings

2 Timothy 4 contains the last known written words of the apostle Paul. Knowing his days are short he says, ‘I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day’ (2 Timothy 4:7-8). These words speak of a life lived well, one poured out for others, and faithful to God right to the end. Galatians 5:16-23 is a fine description of the Spirit-shaped person, and a good list to imagine mourners at our funeral recounting. 

What changes might you need to make to ensure you finish your own race well, ‘keeping the faith’ right to the end?

What qualities of the Spirit need to be strengthened in you this week?

Based on these readings, who does God wish you to become today?