Finding Life In Him   

My body isn’t as it was before. It hurts. I can’t go running in the morning any more. Worse, the distance I can walk is shrinking too. I used to love getting up at sunrise to run. Free. Strong. I would say exercising is what helps me stay sane. I just can’t go on without it. Really? 

Sometime after it all started, during my daily Bible reading, the words of the apostle Paul jumped off the page for me: ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ 2 Cor 12:9. A powerful moment with God follows. A difficult but blessed one. He had answered my prayer. Not as I wanted him to. But it is his answer. I accept it.  

I tell the team I’m at peace. I tell them to stop praying for healing but rather that I would grow in my relationship with God. To pray that I would rely on the Lord’s power, not mine. Two teammates pull me aside: ‘Certainly God doesn’t want you to suffer!’ Words meant to comfort me, but I don’t understand them. 

We are in a remote part of Angola where people have lived in war for decades. The region is littered with mines that we regularly hear exploding. Children are dying from simple diarrhoea. Never will I forget the immeasurable pain of a mother burying her child. Never. 

Why would it be abnormal for me, a human being like them, to experience the limits of my life on earth as well? What hope can I have if I measure the love of God based on my own physical and psychological well-being? God sent his own son to death out of love for humankind. Out of love for me. Isn’t that sufficient proof? He forgave my sins. My pride. By grace. What else do I need? 

Jesus doesn’t ask us to save ourselves nor to save the world. He’s done that already. Let us never forget the price he paid for that. Never. 

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