"Can I?" isn't the best question

Have you ever watched a movie with kids that you regretted about halfway through? 

Rather than let them pick and put yourself through the 300th episode of “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse,” you suggested an animated movie you wanted to see. 

It’s a cartoon rated G, what could possibly go wrong? 

Looking at their faces now, you realize the villains were a little too scary, the jokes a little too crude for their age. You know what’s coming later: little knuckles tapping on your bedroom door and a scared voice asking, “Can I sleep with you tonight?”

As adults, we have the freedom to watch any movie we want, but we also have the responsibility to consider who’s watching with us. 

As group leaders, we carry this same combination of freedom and responsibility. In Christ, we have the freedom to do a lot of things (1 Corinthians 10:31). But just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should. People follow us as we follow Jesus.

An action doesn’t have to be wrong or unbiblical not to be in the best interests of others. Part of leadership is learning to put others’ needs above our desires. This is what Paul is telling the church in Corinth when he says, “Everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive” (1 Corinthians 10:23). 

Like a lot of Christians today, the believers in Corinth had lots of questions about what they could or couldn’t do. To start building a list of rules about what believers could eat or drink would ignore the new reality that Jesus fulfilled the law (Matthew 5:17-20). God’s people were no longer guided by a list of rules, but by the Holy Spirit living inside them. 

So instead of answering each question directly, Paul’s filter for decision-making was simple: Will it glorify God? Will it help those around me? 

As a group leader, you will have and receive lots of “Can I…?” questions. Just remember, the same questions that guided Paul can guide us today. 
 

Reflect:

• How do you make decisions currently? 
• Are there areas of your life where you haven’t been very conscientious of the people around you? Is there anything you need to start doing or stop doing so your actions glorify God and help those around you?