Forgiveness: The Freedom of the GospelExemplo

Key Principles of Forgiveness

Before we look at the “how to” of forgiveness, it is important to remember some key principles about forgiveness. 

• Forgiveness does not say what happened is ok or that it didn’t matter. What they did to violate us was wrong and it was a big deal. Sin is never okay. What forgiveness does say is what they did to wound us has been paid for by Jesus on the Cross. 
• We forgive wounds, not people. We forgive people for what they did to hurt us. On the Cross, Jesus prayed, “Father forgive them, they do not know what they are doing.”(Luke 23:34) Jesus loved people, but He hated their sin so much that He died to pay for their sin in order to restore them back into relationship with God the Father. So rather than saying, for example, “I forgive my Dad,” we would say,  “I choose to forgive my Dad for…” and list the ways he wounded you. We forgive the wounds that people inflict on us.
• We forgive intentional and unintentional wounds. Wounds hurt, regardless of the motive behind them. Sometimes the people who violate us know exactly what they are doing while other times they hurt us without realizing it. Either way, whether they meant to hurt us or not, we are left with a wound that we need to forgive. 
• Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing. This is significant. Just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean that you are reconciled with them. Reconciliation requires two things: forgiveness from the wounded party and repentance from the offending party. Repentance means to “change your mind”; to recognize that what you did was wrong.

Imagine that the table of reconciliation is a high-top table with five seats. Three seats are occupied by Father God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. The other two seats are reserved for the wounded party and the offending party.  Reconciliation takes place when the wounded party says, “What they did was wrong, but since Jesus paid for it, I choose to forgive and come to the table,” and the offending party says, “I now know that what I did was wrong. What can I do to make it right?” At which time the wounded party, who is already sitting at the table responds, “Thank you very much, but Jesus has already made it right.” If the offender doesn’t repent, you are not reconciled, even though you have forgiven. The good news is that your forgiveness has granted you access to the table and amazing fellowship with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

• Faith is the foundation that our forgiveness is based on. Do we truly believe that God is able to make all things work out for His glory and our good? Do we truly believe that the blood of Jesus is enough to settle all accounts we have against those who violated us?
• Forgiveness is applying the blood of Jesus as payment in full for every wound I ever have or will suffer.

Next you will discover how to know if you have truly forgiven.