Living Unbroken: Reclaiming Your Life and Heart After DivorceExemplo

True Identity

All too often after divorce rips a couple apart, two unfortunate things happen. 

One, we often forget our identity in Christ. 

Two, we also often forget who we are as individuals—people divinely created by God with good hearts, beauty inside and out, talents, value, and purpose. 

I struggled with both of these things a few months into my new normal. Over the many years of struggles, I had forgotten who I was and felt as if I had no value at all. 

The cycle was broken when I heard a gentle yet life-changing whisper in my spirit. “The end of your marriage is not the end of you.” 

These sweet words served as a holy reminder that my identity was not determined by a role, a title, or a box to check on a form. My identity was determined by my heavenly Father. 

I was still me, just a new version of me in a new phase of life. I was still a woman God created in His image. 

A woman God still had a plan and a purpose for, notwithstanding life’s disappointments. 

A woman who still had value, even if someone else couldn’t see it. 

A woman who was still a mother, daughter, sister, friend, Jesus girl, writer, speaker, tennis player, fancy-coffee drinker, beach fanatic, lake and boat lover, and more. 

A woman who mattered. 

A woman who had purpose. 

Most importantly, I was also a beloved daughter of the King. 

Although my worldly role and title had changed, my identity in Christ remained the same and was secure. 

Paul shared this truth with the church in Ephesus and explained the new identity given to people when they are in Christ: “God had already decided that through Jesus Christ he would make us his children—this was his pleasure and purpose” (Eph. 1:5 GNT). 

Paul wanted believers to know that they would always be chosen, adopted, loved unconditionally, and accepted by God and that it pleased Him to call them His own. 

If we as believers don’t fully embrace our identity as children of God, we become vulnerable to letting circumstances, changes in titles and roles, life transitions, and other people’s hurtful words or actions determine our identity and self-worth instead. 

What we do or don’t achieve, what our title or role is or isn’t, and what others think about us do not define who we are. Only God does. He is the source of our identity.

Healing Step:

In your quiet time, ask God to bring to your mind all the fears weighing on your heart. Keep writing them down one by one as you think of them, coming back to your list over the next couple of days, if needed. Spend some time in prayer surrendering.